Hiei's Little Problem
by Hiei's Jaded Dragon
Summary: Yukina knows Hiei is her brother and in an attempt to get him to confess, she asks him 'To be her mate' thinking that it will scare him into telling the truth. Flustered and panicky he claims to already have one... So he gets a'friend' to help out.
1. Sneaky Sister and Hiei's First Deliema

Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "Hey um this is my new alias since they locked my previous account. Anyway if you like crazy humor with poor little Hiei you'll love this one."

Hiei: "Must you torture me again onna?"

Me: "Of course cause you're my favorite."

Hiei "Damn onna. Hn, she don't own shit so don't sue cause you'd only waste your time."

Me: "Thank you Hiei." Pats head.

* * *

"Talking"

/Telepathy/

-Thoughts-

(Comment)

* * *

It was a bright sunny day so Hiei was outside training (What else is new?). Yukina had recently asked him if he knew where her brother was, hoping he could use his Jagan to locate him. Sadly he had said no. How he wished to tell her the truth, but he thought it would break her heart to have a criminal for a brother. After much inner conflict with himself, he went inside to rest.

Unknown to him, was that secretly, Yukina had always known the truth, but was waiting for him to tell her up-front that he was in fact her long lost brother. She had always remembered that a certain aura had always protected her and that the aura matched Hiei's. It was like putting a puzzle together. Plus Hiei was nicer to her than anyone else so that had to mean something. Yukina couldn't wait any longer for him to confess so she devised a plan to make him tell all, or so she thought.

Yukina's Point OF View-(POV) --------She's outside the temple.

-I know he's my brother I'm sure of it. We're even the same height and have the same scarlet eyes. Why can't he tell me the truth? Guess I'll have to force him to confess, but how? - Yukina pauses, looking at all the beautiful flowers in Genkai's garden. After a few minutes of quiet reflection she gets a moment of inspiration.

-I've got it! I'll pretend to want to be his mate and scare him into giving me a reason why he can't accept. I know he won't say it's because he doesn't like me, he's too afraid of upsetting me. And if by some strange chance he does, I'll start crying. Eventually he'll have to tell. I wonder if the others know he's my brother. They probably do, but Hiei's probably threatened them. There's no way he can get out of this without giving me answers. This plan is fool-proof. But I better not tell anyone. Hiei might read their minds, but I know he doesn't read mine out of respect. Plus he thinks I only have cutesy thoughts. Too bad, he of all people should know that cunningness runs in the family.-

So she heads to the temple to find Hiei sitting on the window sill and everyone else watching TV.

Normal POV

"Um Hiei?" Says Yukina -Perfect everyone is here, this makes it even easier.-

"Hn?" He says.

"Well you see it's almost demon mating season and although I love Kazuma, I need another demon. So will you be my mate?" -It's actually kind of fun to scare the great Hiei.-

Hiei's face was all white and he looked like he had just thrown up. Everyone who knew about Hiei being her brother fell off the couch and Kuwabara fainted while mumbling "Girlfriend stealing midget."

-How can she ask such a question?! I'm her brother. . .wait she doesn't know that. Should I tell her? No I can't. It would pain her to know the truth. What in hell should I say? Calm done Hiei. And think.- "Hn. Yukina I can't. I'm a fire apparition and ice and fire don't mix." Replies Hiei stoically. -Great cover story.-

"My mother was a Koorime and my father was a fire apparition and they managed, so I think we'll be fine." Replies Yukina with her innocent smile.

"I can't be your mate Yukina. You deserve someone who is more affectionate." He answers. -Like maybe not your brother! This is wrong in so many ways it's not even funny.-

Everyone (excluding Kuwabara) gets up and tries to help Hiei out.

"Yeah Yukina Hiei's right. I mean you can't just ask him because he's a demon. Besides its Hiei we're talking about . . . Do you honestly take him as the type to do something like that?" Says Yusuke.

"Well Hiei's always been nice to me and I do know him so why not? It's because you don't like me isn't it Hiei?"Says Yukina as she starts to sniffle (Like she's going to cry).

"Um no it's not that it's . . ." he says losing his composure. -Must think up an excuse but what could I possibly say to get her away without hurting her? Think think think!!!- "Because I already have a mate." Answers Hiei swiftly.

Everyone in the room falls down in shock. Yusuke starts laughing and everyone is confused.

"What's so funny detective?" States Hiei.

"Well it's just that you having a girlfriend is funny, but the idea of you having a mate is hilarious." Snorts Yusuke in between laughs.

"Well I do." - Great Hiei you've screwed yourself. You don't have a mate, where the hell am I going to find one? If only I already had a mate . . . wait that's it! I just have to find someone to pretend to be my mate. I could control some girl but then Koenma would know and he wouldn't allow it. But who then? Hn, I'll have to pay a visit to Talia. I can't believe I'm going to do this.-

(Ok you can pronounce it by saying: towel-lee-uh. And in my fic, demons have only 1 mate till they die so if he did have one he couldn't cheat on her. That way he couldn't be Yukina's mate.)

-I don't believe Hiei has a mate but he does have a good reason for lying. Why doesn't he just tell her the truth? It would be much easier. Maybe I can get him to confess . . .-Thinks Kurama and as he says "If you have a mate then how come we've never met her and why have you never mentioned her before?"

"My personal life is none of your business fox. I feel no need to tell you everything." Replies Hiei. -Damn fox, he's making it seem like I'm lying. He's supposed to be on my side. He probably wants me to tell Yukina everything but I can't. -

"Oh so you already have a mate. I hope you two are happy together. But I'd like to meet her." Says the little koorime. -I know he's lying. Guess I'll have to see him look stupid trying to fake it. Oh well, eventually he'll have to confess, there's no way he'll find someone to even pretend to be his mate. And he can't control people or Koenma will have a fit.-

"Uh. . . If you want I can go get her and be back by sundown." -What am I saying? I don't even know of she's home. God look at the mess I've created.-

"So what's her name?" asks Yukina.

"Her name is Talia." Answers Hiei.

So Hiei leaves to find his so-called mate."

* * *

"So what did you think? Please review and remember flames will be used to burn my evil textbooks. Bye now."


	2. Going to Meet His Mate Talia

Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "Here's chapter two, hope you like it. I'll try to update every three to four days if I can but I have about six to seven hours of homework a night, including weekends so it's kinda hard. This chapter introduces Talia whose a bit edgy but sweet nonetheless. She and Hiei are just friends and protect each other at all times but the relationship will deepen."

Hiei: "Why must you put me through hell onna?"

Me: "Because it's fun and because I can."

Hiei: "Curse you evil women."

Me: "I know ain't I great? Well do the disclaimer Hiei and then I'll answer reviews, followed by your torture."

Hiei: "No why would I do that? If I do the disclaimer then you can write this damn thing."

Me: "Fine then don't. I'll just have Kurama do it and now you'll endure more pain! Mahahaha!"

Hiei: ". . . NOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU ONNA!"

Kurama: "Hiei's jaded dragon owns nothing except the plot and Talia. Don't sue or Youko will come after you."

Me: "Thanks Kurama. Oh and I got nine reviews. I'm so happy!" :)

* * *

MirokuHoushi: "Glad you like the funny and yeah you're my first reviewer."

Crimison314: "Happy you like where it's going and FYI, I like making Yukina smarter then they portray her. Oh and you meet Talia! Yeah!"

AnoyomousHieiFan101: "Thanks for reviewing."

Jessica: "I know, poor Hiei's in all this trouble over lying. And Yukina being cunning kicks ass. I'll write more bye !"

I Hate you/ I Love You: "Dumb Hiei, but I really can't picture him telling the truth to Yukina straight forward. Hope you keep reviewing. And you brother sounds as weird as mine is."

Hiei-Daughter: "I will add more so you live."

tory: "I always write funny stuff. It's the only way I can write. I don't eve know how to be serious. Happy you reviewed and my nickname from my little cousin is tory--she can't say Victoria."

Hiei-lonewolf: "Thanks for the compliment."

GoldenKitsuneHime13: "Hiei's going to have a rough time getting out of this one. It will be funny--crazy girl's promise."

Oh and to reviewer#10: "Sorry yours wouldn't show up but I'll put yours in the next chapter."

* * *

"Talking"

/Telepathy/

-Thoughts-

(Comment)

* * *

Hiei begins to walk out the door but is stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Hiei, why don't we come with you? I don't want to be here when Kuwabara wakes up and starts a stupid fight. Besides, I'd like the meet her now." States Kurama. -I know he's lying and I think he's either going to use his Jagan to control some girl or scare one into helping him deceive everyone. But I know better. Hiei doesn't have a mate. I can't even picture him with a girlfriend or even a friend that happens to be a girl. Better bring my communicator to scan Talia's head to make sure Hiei isn't controlling her. Why can't he just tell the truth? I know Yukina would love to have him as a brother so why not? This is going to be a weird day.- Kurama grabs his communicator and follows Hiei."

"Hn, go away fox. I'm going to pick up my onna by myself. I don't need you to come with me." He replies. -Just great Hiei. Kurama knows you don't have a mate and probably suspects you're going to fake it. Damn, can't he not come so I can persuade Talia into going along with this? I have to make it seem like we're really mates cause if we aren't, that fox will try and get me to tell my sister everything. Without a mate, then I'll have to be with Yukina or I'll hurt her feelings. But with a mate I can casually slide out of this mess without telling the truth and without becoming my sister's mate. Let's pray this works Hiei cause if it doesn't I'm screwed.- He starts to walk outside but is stopped by Yusuke.

"Hold it there Hiei. I have to see you and this so-called mate of yours. I don't believe for one second that some chick likes you like that. I bet you're going to get some girl to pretend so I want to be there to see everything blow up in your face." Says the detective with a smile. -This is going to be hilarious.-

Hiei: "F I N E." Replies Hiei through gritted teeth. -Damn they're going to ruin everything.-

So the three begin to walk to Talia's house, lead by Hiei. He figures he can run fast enough to lose them, but that wouldn't buy him enough time. Besides it would look suspicious so they'd know he was lying. So they walked for 15 minutes at a moderate pace until they reached an apartment. Hiei walked in, went to room 602, and pulled a key out of his cloak. He turned the knob and the three walked inside. The apartment was littered with beautiful glass sculptures and pictures galore. There was one side of the wall covered with photos and they seem to be all of Hiei and some girl. There was some that appeared to be the girl's family and friends but most were of her and Hiei. The room smelled of sweet lavender incense and made you feel at home.

"Whoa Hiei if you had a pad like this why stay at Genkai's? This place rocks. It even has a big TV. A little on the girly side but it's nice." Says Yusuke.

"Indeed. Talia must be a good decorator. Everything matches perfectly. But where is she?" Says Kurama chidingly. -Just as I thought, there is no Talia.-

Hiei picks up a letter off the table, reads it, and then hands it to Kurama saying "She's at work."

Kurama opens it and reads it aloud to Yusuke and himself. It says:

* * *

Hey to whomever reads this. I'm at work right now and

won't be back till 5. If you do stop by, please make

yourself at home. But don't and I REPEAT DON"T Go

snooping in my closet trying to see what I got you. That

means you Hiei. And don't eat all the ice-cream again and

leave a mess. See you later.

Love,

Talia

* * *

"I don't have a mate now do I Kurama. I suppose "Love Talia" is a way friends greet on another then, Hn?" replies Hiei sarcastically. -I am so lucky that Talia always signs letters with "Love Talia." We are just friends that note made it look like she really cares for me.-

"Uh well . . . I thought you were lying but if Talia really exists then why don't we go to her job. Her mate should know where she works." -That note sounded like it came from a close friend or a girlfriend. And Hiei defiantly didn't write it. It was too neat to be Hiei's handwriting. And there were all those pictures of him and that girl. It defiantly shows a relationship of some kind. I've been focusing to detect any signs of telepathy coming from Hiei but there are none. So he can't be communicating with this girl to have her help with this charade. Can he really have a mate . . . no he can't, its Hiei I'm talking about. He has a heart of stone and ice. There's no way he has a mate . . .right?- Thinks Kurama.

"Hn, we'll go. I know where she works." Answers Hiei.

So they leave and begin to walk. Kurama, in an attempt to find out more info to make Hiei look stupid, asks him a bunch of questions about Talia. He is going to check over the replies with Talia and if they don't fit then he'll know she's just a friend at best. He asks him everything about her, from what her favorite color is to her most embarrassment moment. But Hiei starts to get ticked off by this.

"Fox why don't you SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR 2 SECONDS!!!" Screams Hiei. -Can't he shut up? I'm getting a headache. I hope somehow, someway Talia makes it look like we're lovers. This is chaos. Pure utter chaos.- "Hn we're here."

They have stopped in front of a large arcade. At this Yusuke's eyes light up.

"She works at an arcade?" Says Kurama -I thought Hiei would pick a girl smart enough to get a decent job at least but an arcade?-

"Not just an arcade, The Arcade. This place is the best. They have every game every made and best of all, they also serve food in case you get the munchies. If you want to stop for a second and go piss or get food, you can put a red sticker that a worker gives you on your game, pause it, and when you come back no one will have touched it and you can continue." Says Yusuke (This is my dream for the perfect arcade. I'm a video-game addict.)

"Hn, let's go in split up and find her." Says Hiei

"But how we can we find her if we don't know what she looks like?" Asks Yusuke

"Idiot. She wears a damn name tag. How hard could it be to find her in the ridiculous outfit she wears?" Says Hiei slightly annoyed.

"What's ridiculous about her outfit?" Questions Kurama.

"If she's an employee, then she wears a tight white skirt and a low-cut shirt that shows her bellybutton. The outfit will make you drool" Answers Yusuke.

So they go in and start looking for this girl. Yusuke sees a girl bending down. He can't resist the temptation, so he slaps her ass hard. Unfortunately Hiei was right in front of her and she was none other than Talia. She jumped forward and would have fell down if Hiei hadn't caught her.

"Aaaaah! That hurt you pervert! Hiei what are you doing here? And could you please beat up the guy in green who hit me?" Responds a shaken Talia.

"I won't hit him because I work with him, but I will tell his girlfriend Keiko what he did. She'll knock the crap outta him for me." Says Hiei.

"Hiei don't. She'll kill me. Pleeeeese?" -Note to self, be careful about slapping asses when Hiei is around. Don't need him snitching to Keiko.-

"Haha. I don't know who you are but I'm glad you're going to feel pain for what you did." Replies a short girl with long orange hair, red eyes, and a grin (A.K.A. for all us morons out there-Talia).

"So Hiei where have you been? You disappeared for like a week and didn't even send me a Tele-email (my word for telepathic messages.). I was bored and I missed having you around. When are you going to quit working for Koenma?" -Why is he here and who are these people. He seems a bit edgy. I should probably take him to the staff room and talk to him alone.-

(Ok right now they are just friends but they know each other very well and can sometimes predict how the other is feeling.)

"Hn I came to see you that's all." Says Hiei

"Why don't I get you and your friends some drinks? You look a little flustered at the moment." Says Talia with concern.

Hiei puts her down gently and they all get acquainted with one another. She then walks the bar and gets four sodas. But while being there, someone else wants to order something. Amazingly she calculates the man's total in her head in like a minute and gives him exact change just as fast. This makes Kurama wonder why a smart girl is working as a waitress in an arcade. Talia leads them to a table, they sit down, and begin to talk and relax."

"So Talia, why is someone of your intellect working at a place like this?" asks Kurama

"Well I used to work at this office in Tokyo but the hours were long so I had no time for my friends and Hiei. Plus my boss liked to hit on me and for his safety I left. I didn't want Hiei to find out and beat him up. After that, this was the only decent place that would hire a 16-year-old girl still in school." replies Talia. (They're just friends but true friends are very protective of one another. That's why he'd beat up her boss if he knew he hit on her.)

-Thank god Talia. It sounds like we're mates and you don't even know what's going on. I could kiss you . . . wait what if I have to?! Oh god I never thought of that! I'm in such deep shit.- Thinks Hiei.

"Um, Hiei could you come help me do something and then maybe I can ask my boss to leave a little early and we can do stuff." Says Talia

"Sure." replies Hiei. -This is perfect. Now I can tell her what's going on without the guys being there and maybe I can keep pretending this whole mate deal.

So they head to the staff room alone, leaving Kurama and Yusuke to think.

* * *

"So what did you think? I would've typed more but I've got two tests tomorrow and a paper due so I gotta get some sleep. Bye and please review."


	3. Telling Talia the Deal& Meeting Everyone

Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "Hi peoples. I'm in a pretty good mood probably cause I've got a 4-day weekend. Party! Yeah I've ate like three boxes of Halloween peeps so I'm totally hyper and crazy."

Hiei: "Oh-uh. If you're crazy than that means more pain for me. I better hide those peeps now." He runs off with peeps."

Me: "Shows how much you know Hiei. I still have two Hershey's bars and some skittles. You can never take all my sweets for I am the candy women. Mahahahaha . . . cough cough cough. I better practice on my evil laugh again. While I practice you read. Oh and Yusuke could you say the disclaimer since Hiei ran off?"

Yusuke: "Sure babe. Hiei's Jaded Dragon owns nothing so don't sue thinking you'll get stuff. She only owns Talia, her random thoughts, and way too many sweets."

* * *

Alex: "So your reviewer #10. Your review wouldn't show up last chapter. And I'll update soon."

Jessica: "Awesome? I like the word. I'll add more A.S.A.P."

Boton-Hiei-Daughter: A rock with a note attached is thrown back at you. It says: "Talia is a hanyou (Half demon half human and I think I spelled it wrong.) And thanks for giving me my first update threat."

LeaMarie F. Rocket: "Thanks for the compliment and I'll update as fast as my little hands can type."

kg-rose: "It's get even more interesting. . ."

IssueshaveI: "You think it's awesome and it rocks . . . cool. But since you're not a big Hiei fan are you a Kurama fan? Personally I like all the characters except Koenma. I don't know why though. Oh hope you really do look for my fic each time. Bye."

AnonymousHieiFan: "Thanks." I hand you a Hiei plushy.

Kira: "If you have trouble thinking up ideas and details just image you're the character and do what you'd do in their position. And for a good fic idea, find something that interests you. But if all else fails, hit yourself on the head with a giant hammer and maybe something will come to you. It always works for me. Hehe."

Hiei-lonewolf: "Yep Hiei is in deep dog shit. Talia does go along with it and I'm assuming you want her to enjoy the acting bit cause that's pretty much what happens and it's totally crazy."

anime gurl: 'Thanks and I will defiantly continue."

Jessica aka Jesse: "Guys never fully think things through. So Hiei's last minute ideas add suspense and realism. Basically he and Talia are going to wing it but he does eventually confess the truth to Yukina except it's for a different reason."

* * *

"Talking"

-Thoughts-

/Telepathy/

(Author's comment)

* * *

Meanwhile Back At The Dojo:

The girls and Genkai found what happened to be very suspicious. Those who knew of Hiei's and Yukina's relation were upset he didn't say he was her brother (A.K.A. Botan, Shizuru, Genkai, and Yukina), Keiko was a little confused, and Kuwabara had fainted from shock.

"That was strange and unexpected. But why would Hiei have a mate and not mention her ever?" Says Botan.

"I know what you mean. He isn't the most romantic type of guy. We should have gone with Yusuke and Kurama to see him look like an ass." Replies Shizuru while smoking a cigarette.

"Well at least this will be good for a laugh." Says Genkai -I need to talk to the ones who know about Hiei's relation to Yukina. But how to get Keiko and Yukina out of the room? Kuwabara isn't important seeing as though he's unconscious but what to do?-

"Um Keiko would you please help me get Kazuma in a room so he can recover?" asks Yukina. -This way I can talk to those who don't know of the situation. I know that if either Keiko or Kazuma knew, they'd tell me. Since they are clueless about everything and my brother believes they don't know anything, I can use them to help with my scheme. If I were to tell the others, Hiei would find out because I know he sometimes reads their minds with his Jagan.-

"Sure Yukina. You must be going through a lot. I mean you need Hiei because he's a demon but you love Kuwabara. That decision must be really hard." Replies Keiko as her and Yukina drag Kuwabara to an empty room.

They manage to lift Kuwabara onto the bed and Yukina goes and locks the door. She then uses her ice powers to make her hand extremely cold and shakes Kuwabara awake.

"NO Yukina my love you can't be with shorty. He's evil and I love you." Shouts Kuwabara as he abruptly awakens.

"Calm down Kazuma. I don't want Hiei to be my mate." Says Yukina. -Silly guy.-

"Huh? But I thought you said you did Yukina." exclaims Keiko. -What does she mean she doesn't want Hiei for a mate after she just asked him to be hers? What is she thinking?-

"I'm confused." Says the Baka.

"Well I was lying. See ever since I was little, a strong aura always watched over me. I had the feeling that the aura belonged to my brother and Hiei's aura matches that of my brother. I wanted him to admit he was my long lost brother so I cooked up this whole 'mate' thing to get him to confess. Kazuma I love you not my brother. Don't tell the others any of this since Hiei reads their minds because they know the truth. But Hiei threatened to kill them if they told me or anyone else. How they know is still a mystery to me. So I want you two to help me complete my plan into getting Hiei to confess. I know he doesn't have a mate but if he somehow manages to show up with one, I want you two to help me put an end to his lying." States the crafty Koorime.

"Whoa Yukina I never knew you were that tricky. Guess your brother rubbed off on you." Says Keiko.

"Wait shorty is your brother?! That means if I marry you I'll be related to him?" Says the idiot before fainting again.

"Kazuma! Are you alright?" Asks Yukina with concern as she waves her hand in front of his face to wake him up.

Back With The Guys:

"Kurama what just happened? The girl was acting like she really likes Hiei and he didn't tell her to act or anything. We've been with them the whole time so how unless she really is his mate?" Says Yusuke.

"I don't know. I've been making sure there was no telepathic link between them so he can't have asked her to do or say anything that would help them look like a couple. The way she acted and talked around him would lead most to believe that their together. She said she missed him and was bored without him. And then she said she quit her last job because she had no time for him and because she didn't want Hiei to beat her boss up for hitting on her. Why would Hiei beat up a guy for hitting on that girl without her being important to him? There are only two reasons why: 1-he likes her or 2- He's controlling her since there's no way he had time to tell her to put on an act. I'm going with the latter of the two. When we get to Genkai's, I'm going to scan her mind to make sure Hiei isn't using his Jagan on her." Answers the smart fox.

(He can't use his communicator on her now because they're at a ningen arcade.)

"Yeah it has to be that, 'cause why would a total babe be Hiei's mate? I mean he's not ugly or anything but he's got an attitude. If I picture him doing something romantic or on a date, I'll crack up. . . Hahahaha. Whoa that's too funny." Says Yusuke with a grin.

"Your right, it is funny. . ." says Kurama as he starts to laugh.

In The Staff Room :

The two walk casually to the back of the arcade and enter a door that says: "Keep out Authorized Personal Only." Talia shuts the door and they sit down at a table.

"Hiei what's going on? You've been acting kinda funny." Remarks Talia

"Well um you know my sister Yukina? The one who doesn't know I'm her brother? See she asked me to be her mate but I can't because we're related and I can't say no cause it'll hurt her feelings so I said I already have a mate but I don't. And I was wondering if you could pretend to be my mate just long enough to fool her and the people I work with? Hehe." Says Hiei while blushing.

". . . WHAT?! Hiei how could his happen!? This is madness pure utter madness! I uh wouldn't know how to be your mate, I um uh . . ." says Talia -No wonder he was acting so weird. Oh my god. How can he ask me to do such a thing? This is strange beyond belief. Why would his sister be attracted to him? I know he's not ugly and he is muscular . . . wait EW he's my friend how can I possibly think like this?-

"Please Talia? You're the only one I know who can give a believable lie and I already intruded you to them and I said you were so PLEASE?" Exclaims Hiei as he gives Talia the big watery eye trick including the puppy dog whimper. (I bet that with those big ruby eyes Hiei could give one mean puppy dog pout.)

"Oh Hiei that's not fair. You know I can't resist the puppy dog pout and you even did the whimper. And that's my trick, not yours." Says Talia. -He's cheating using that look. No one can refuse the look. Damn I can't believe I'm going to go along with this.-

"Whimper whimper sniffle sniffle. . . .Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeseeeeeee?" asks Hiei. -I pray she goes along with this cause if doesn't I'm more than screwed. I'd look stupider than the baka and I didn't even know that was even possible. -

"Ok FINE!. God how do we get ourselves into such trouble? So um we're going to need to come up with excuses for me never meeting them and how we meet and stuff . . ." says Talia

So the 'Couple' stats coming up with a big cover story. Hiei also explains the entire situation in detail. They talk for about ten minutes and then return to Kurama and Yusuke.

"Hn it's 5, we can leave and go to the temple." Remarks Hiei.

The four exit the arcade and head home. On the way Kurama asks Talia all the questions he asked Hiei. Surprisingly, he gets almost all of them right. Until Talia gets feed up with the fox's curious nature and screams: "WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?! I'M GETTING A HEADACHE! WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE QUESTIONS ANYWAY?!"

"Hn, the kitsune asked me the same ones earlier. He's checking them to make sure we're really mates." mentions Hiei. -Ha stupid fox. I am smarter than you. There's no way you'll catch me lying. This idea is too good to mess up.-

Everyone then turns their head towards Yusuke, who has broken out into a fit of the giggles.

"Detective why are you laughing like a fool again?" questions Hiei.

I'm laughing cause she screamed at Kurama just like you did. For a moment she acted like you. Hahahaha." Answers Yusuke.

The walk back continues in silence until they reach the temple. Yusuke opens the door they and is greeted by everyone except a fainted Baka. Talia is standing in the back so no one can see her.

"Just like I thought Hiei has no mate. He was lying so he could get out of this mess without having to do anything. What a jerk." States Boton. -How cruel can a guy get? He could have told her he was her brother and avoided looking like a meanie.-

"Hiei wasn't lying and I'd prefer it if you didn't call my mate a jerk." Announces Talia as she steps from behind the boys.

"Uh, I'm sorry but are you Talia?" Asks Boton. -He has a mate! What did he do bribe her or use mind control on her? -

"Yes my name is Talia. And who might the rest of you be?" She asks.

"This is Genkai, Shizuru, Keiko, Yukina, I'm Boton, Kuwabara is asleep, and you've already meet Yusuke and Kurama and you certainly know Hiei." Exclaims Boton in her happy bubbly voice.

At that very moment Kurama gets his communicator, turns it on, and points it at Talia's head. It emits a glowing green light. The communicator then stops glowing and a red X appears on its screen.

"No this can't be?" Exclaims Kurama.

"What can't be?" Asks Yusuke.

"I just did a brain scan on Talia and the communicator said she's not being controlled. Earlier, she was acting like Hiei's girlfriend without him even telling her do so telepathically or by word of mouth. Even before he had a moment alone with her, she was acting like his girlfriend. That could only mean one thing . . . she really is his mate!" Exclaims Kurama.

"Kurama what in hell did you just do to Talia?" Asks Hiei.

"I thought you were controlling her so I scanned her mind. Funny huh?" Answers the fox sheepishly.

"Kurama who the hell gave you permission to scan my brain? That is my head and you and you stay out of it. I don't even let Hiei read my mind, so why would I let you?" Says Talia.

"Um, I'm terribly sorry. That was extremely rude of me." Answers Kurama with his head hung low.

"Sorry is pretty lame. . ." Says Talia before she is interrupted by Boton.

"What do you mean sorry isn't good enough?! What's he supposed to do bow down?" Yells Boton. -What an attitude. No wonder Hiei's with her.-

"I'm not referring to him probing my brain. The sorry was good enough for that. I was talking about how he and the rest of you treat Hiei." Replies Talia.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Asks a confused Yusuke.

"You probed my mind to make sure Hiei wasn't controlling me, right. He said I was his mate and if you're truly his friends then you should believe him. Do you have such little faith in him that you'd believe he'd control someone? And why am I here in the first place Hiei? You specifically told me to tell no one of our relationship ever. And now I'm here to prove that you actually have a mate? Since when do friends have to prove things to one another? A real friend believes you regardless of how unlikely your story sounds. Some friends." Comments Talia with a calm yet spiteful tone.

Her little speech made everyone feel bad except Yukina.

-She's good. Real good. She put everybody on a guilt trip but I don't believe for one second that she's my brother's mate. She's crafty . . . my job just got harder. Oh well I have the upper hand seeing as though I know the truth and they have no idea I know everything.- Thinks Yukina.

"It's not that we don't trust Hiei, it's just that it's so hard to believe he has a mate especially since he never mentions you at all." Says Shizuru.

"He doesn't talk about me or I about him for my safety. If one of Hiei's enemies knew about me they'd capture me and use me to beat him or at least lure him into a trap. I'm only a low C class at best. A real fighter would be able to take me down easy." Remarks Talia.

"Then why not at least tell us? Doesn't he trust us?" Replies Yukina with a hurt tone. (Remember she's acting too.) -Let's see her get out of this one.-

"It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I'm afraid someone will probe your mind and get the information. All of Makai knows I work with you guys and if they needed to find a weak point in my power, they'd check your minds. I have the Jagan to protect me from mind readers but the rest of you are defenseless in that regard. So I couldn't risk it." Answers Hiei.

"Well now that's that said can I go home?" Asks Talia.

"No you must stay, we insist. I'm making a great spaghetti dinner tonight and we can get to know each other better." Says the little ice maiden. -Oh they're tricky. I'll have to figure out some way to make them screw up.-

"Ok fine then." Replies Talia. -Yum, free food. It's just dinner; I can pull this lie off for a few more hours. Plus it makes our story seem more believable, like we don't have anything to hide. -

* * *

"How'd you like it so far? I should warn you though, this might contain some dirty humor later and the rating may go up. Please review. Bye"


	4. The True Meanings Behind Words

Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "I been really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really busy so I've had no time to update. Sorry. Hiei's gets himself into deeper trouble and 'stuff' happens. Yeah it's crazy."

Hiei: "Onna why me? Can't you torture the baka or the fox or even the detective?"

Me: "I torture all so don't worry about them. But my torture shows my love so since I torture you the most I love you the most."

Hiei: "Oh joy. Don't I feel special."

Baka: "Shorty knows how to feel? Whoa my world's been flipped upside down. Nothing makes sense anymore. . . AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Me: "While the baka recovers, I'll answer my reviews."

* * *

Shadow-Seeker-13: "Funny is what I do best. And Hiei would be adorable with a puppy dog face!"

Boton-Hiei-Daughter: "I assume the ok means I'm crazy or something cause that's what all my friends say."

Princess Krystal 101: " Happy you think Talia and Yukina are good."

katana-Jake: "Thanks for the props."

Kit: "You can't wait? Maybe I should make you wait? Hn I'm not that evil well at least not today."

Jessica: "Yeah Yukina knows Hiei's faking it. Hiei's a guy and guys NEVER LEARN EVER!!!"

hiei-luver169: "Cute? New word for it but I like it."

Night-owl 123: "Thanks for the compliment. I'll update as soon as I finish this accursed homework."

Hiei-lonewolf: "Yukina doesn't seem herself but I like ooc-ness."

Hiei's fire Dragon Girl: "Her idea would be perfect if Hiei weren't so smart and stubborn. Glad you like it. Bye."

Karuto-chan: "Everyone I know says I'm sooo bad. . . and this story gets very very bad if u know what I mean."

Jesse: "Talia is quite an actor. See I'm good at pretending so I just made Talia do what I do in her position. And Hiei is lucky . . . for now."

AnonymousHieiFan101: "I'll update soon and you better review or feel the wrath of my bunnies. I control an army of rabid, crazed, furry, blue bunnies."

Borris: "I like 'Wow.' Glad you found my fic and liked it."

iluvinyushayyuyu: "Being funny is my thing. And YAY someone likes me enough to put me on their favorites list."

* * *

"Talking"

/Telepathy/

-Thoughts-

(Comment)

* * *

For a while everyone sits in the living room watching TV while Yukina and Keiko cook dinner. But everyone is suspicious of this girl, so Kurama gets up and leads the others to another room saying he wants to give the couple some alone time. Hiei and Talia readily agree so they can drop the act for a moment. The others (Excluding Keiko, Yukina, and an unconscious Kuwabara) go to a room in the back of the temple. When they get in, Yusuke shuts the door and they all sit down on some Japanese style mats.

"We all know Hiei is Yukina's brother so her asking him to be her mate puts him in an awkward position. However, that is no excuse for him not telling her the truth. Although Yukina would be heart-broken at least she'd have a brother. There is no way in all of Renkai that Talia is really Hiei's mate. And I think I have a way to expose him for the fraud he is." Says the sly fox.

"So how do we go about doing that?" Asks Shizuru. -Wonder what he's thinking?-

"When a demon has a mate, he bites her, leaving a mark on her neck. Talia didn't have a mark on her neck so they are not mates. I'm going to point that out and it might end this whole mess." Answers Kurama.

"Smart thinking fox-boy. I knew Hiei couldn't snag a babe. But how in hell did he get her to go along with this if he's not controlling her." Asks the detective.

"I believe she might be either a really close friend or maybe at best a girlfriend. But defiantly not a mate. So she probably did it to help him out of the mess he's in. But what baffles me is how did he get her to pretend before communicating with her? She is extremely intelligent and crafty and Hiei's cunning as well. This might make getting the truth out of them complicated. " Says Kurama

"I knew Hiei was just a liar. What a rotten guy. And that's girl is no better." Replies an angry ferry girl.

"Cut the boy some slack. Hiei's had a horrible past and even though we know Yukina would love to have him as a brother, he thinks she'd be ashamed. So he refuses to say anything. Image what it must be like to have a sibling and not be able to tell them because you don't think they'd want you. And at least he found someone who cares about him enough to help him out. She might not be his mate but she does mean something to him. I'm not saying its right to lie to Yukina, but in his eyes he doesn't have a choice. You all can try and get him to confess but good luck cause I'm not having any part in this." Says a wise Genkai as she leaves the room.

"Genkai has a point but I think Hiei needs to tell Yukina the truth. It be the best for both of them." Says Kurama as everyone leaves the room to eat dinner.

Meanwhile With Hiei and Talia:

"That was ingenious. I can't believe you came up with all that stuff so quickly. It made everyone shut-up. I knew you'd be perfect for this." says Hiei.

"I know it worked out just right. It was easy but I don't think everyone bought it. We'll have to keep up the act for a few days and by then I'll have come up with some way to leave and never be seen again. Well at least never see them again. Cause if we were mates, then they'd expect us to spend every moment with each other and um yeah. . ."Says Talia as she trails off. -Being Hiei's fake mate is weird but it's also fun. What the hell am I thinking?! He's been my best friend since we were little kids. How can I think of him as something more? I've never thought about how we act around each other. We do act like a couple without even realizing it and now that I think about it, we are pretty close but we've always seen our relationship as nothing more than friendship. But what if it's something else? The more I look at him, the more I realize what a great not to mention hot guy he is . . . Oh shit this is strange. I can't fall for a friend can I?-

"Um earth to Talia? Are you alright?" Asks Hiei. -What the fuck is she thinking about? And why is she starring at me or is she spaced out about something? Her red eyes are pretty. . . Where did that thought come from? If I don't stop looking at her she might get the wrong idea but I can't. She's grown up a lot since we were kids. She's beautiful . . .Urgh I must end these thoughts now!-

At that very moment, everyone walks in to see them transfixed by one another. To end this, Yukina says 'Dinner's ready." The two snap out of their trance and blush slightly before getting up and walking to the table. Yukina leaves, saying she must go wake up Kazuma. But after hearing 'Dinner's ready' the oaf had magically recovered and ran down for food. He looked at Talia and figured out she must be the girl Hiei spoke of. He said hi gruffly and sat down.

Everyone sits down and begins eating the soup Yukina made. Everyone notices that Hiei gets one giant bowl and two spoons.

"Are you going to eat all of that shorty?" Asks Kuwabara.

"No you half-wit. I'm going to share it with Talia." Replies Hiei.

"Yeah we always take food off each other's plates. Then we have less dishes to wash." Says a smiling Talia.

-Those two are good at acting. This is going to ruin my plans of Hiei confessing.- Thinks Yukina and Kurama.

Dinner was delicious and was going well until Kurama spoke to Talia.

"Talia, you and Hiei are mates so why don't you have a mark on your neck?" Asks Kurama in an innocent tone.

"Well it's kinda a long story but if you'd like to hear it, I guess I could explain it." says Talia. -Shit I need a lie. Must think fast . . . curses to that smart ass fox.-

"Please do. I have all the time in the world." Responds Kurama.

"You see my biological mother had me but died soon after. My father found a new mate, who also had a kid a month younger than I and no mate. So now I had a step sister only by marriage. But unfortunately, while trying to bear another child for my father, my second mom died as well as the baby. My father couldn't care for two baby girls alone in the Makai, so he went to the Ningenkai for our protection. When we were about two, he found a lovely ningen women who adopted us as her own. I care for her and don't want to displease her in anyway. She doesn't know of my demon heritage or of my father's and sisters. It would put her in danger to know, so we don't say anything. If she knew I had a mate at only 16, she'd flip out. I can't tell her for another couple of years. Plus a bite mark on my neck might scare her as well as other humans. So we both agreed on no bite mark." Explains Talia. -That was a long lie. Whoa I just saved our ass's. God that was hard. –

(Ok demons in my fic can have a baby every 3-4 months so that's why the father's second wife has a baby so soon. And Talia has a sister that's not related by blood but by marriage. It will make sense later. So Talia's a full demon in a human disguise but her human form is very similar to her demon form. Sorry but I had to put that in there cause I told one reviewer she was a hanyou.)

"Very interesting story Talia, but I know a way you could have your bite mark and hide it from your mom." says Kurama. -She's a good liar. This is going to be harder than expected but I don't think she can pull this off.-

"Oh really cause if you do, I'd be willing to try." Says Talia with a happy tone. -Great I've screwed myself. Maybe if I'm lucky he's just bluffing.-

"You could go to the Makai and pick up some masking solution. It can cover any demonic traits allowing demons to sneak into the human world. Just let Hiei mark you, then put the solution on, and it will cover the mark from all normal humans. Problem solved." Says the fox smiling sweetly. -I'd love to see Hiei and Talia wiggle their way out of this.-

-Seems Kurama is doing my job for me. How nice.- Thinks Yukina.

"If you can get me this solution then I'll gladly try it. Living in the human world I only make periodic trips to the Makai so I wouldn't know about this solution of which you speak of." Says Talia. -Damn you fox boy.-

-No! This can't be happening. How can we keep up our charade if I have to mark her? I can't mark my friend. Shit!- Thinks Hiei.

"Going to the Makai would be complicated but the plant used to make the potion grows in the forest around the temple. I could easily whip up a batch in two days." says Kurama.

"Why thank you Kurama." Replies Talia. -I. HATE. HIM!-

"YES. THANK. YOU. FOX." Says an angry fire demon. -I'll kill him when he's asleep.-

Everyone finished eating and then Yukina and Boton did the dishes. Everyone else sat down and watched anime on TV.

* * *

"Hope you all enjoyed this cause it took me forever to type. Anyway read and review and if I get a lot of reviews, maybe I'll update faster."


	5. Getting Ready to Spend the Night of Hell

Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "Ah, I'm almost done with my homework, so I figured I'd type the next chapter of my fic. Life's been messed-up lately and I write to keep my sanity. People seem to really like this fic."

Hiei: "Onna quit being delusional, no one likes your story. They're just bored and if they seriously like it then they're probably as moronic as you are."

Me: "Hm, you just never learn do you Hiei? Guess I'll have to make this a chapter contain some awkward moments between you and Talia. You should've kept quiet." I laugh evilly.

Hiei: "I DESPISE YOU!"

Me: "And? What are you going to do about it?"

Hiei: Mumbles "Women are evil."

* * *

karuto-chan: "Evil is the best type. Yukina might get what she wants and she gets even more evil as the story goes on."

Jessica: "It's going to be a bumpy ride for Hiei."

bowserjr: "I try and be original. "I liked Hiei's thoughts too."

Shadow-Seeker-13: "Thanks and I'll update soon."

Boton-Hiei-Daughter: "Ouch a broken hand hurts. The only thing I've ever broken is my nail. And bowserjr liked that line too."

Princess Krysyal01: "Just for you, I changed the chapter's title. I couldn't think up a good one at the time and I really like yours."

Night-Owl123: "Glad you like reading this story and I HATE HOMEWORK!"

Maborshi Kaji- "You're as dirty minded as I am. Yeah!!! The two do fall for each other and I think you'll like this chapter's events."

hiei-luver 168 : " That fox is super determined. Thanks for the compliment."

Jesse: "That damn fox is trying his best to bust poor Hiei. And I love making Kurama try to get Hiei to tell the truth."

Lil KaWaIi AzN PrInCeSs: "Torturing Hiei is fun."

Dragonkit: "Kurama's too smart for his own good. He makes Hiei's life hell in this fic."

LeaMarie F. rocket: "Poor, poor, poor Hiei and Kurama's not a light sleeper."

Moonbeam: "I'm putting up this chapter so that I'm not accused of ANOTHER murder. . .I swear I didn't run over that guy 10 times! Hehe."

KayHiei: "Those two are going to have a hard time getting out of this one. And I've noticed people love to torture Hiei."

Hiei-lonewolf: "you'll have to read to see how they get out of !!!"

Katana-Jake: "Wow is a good word. And just outta curiosity are your initials J. H. Because i knew a Jake and you sound like him:"

Psycho 24: "Yeah Hiei should tell the truth but he's too stubborn."

Borris: "Hiei's going to need a bull dozer to dig himself out of this! And yes my Microsoft Word keeps saying Hiei is an incorrect spelling. Guess I'll have to add hie name.

Hiei's fire Dragon girl: "You're defiantly not a Kurama fan. No Kurama fan would call him an ass hole. And they're both screwed because of the fox and Yukina."

* * *

"Talking"

/Telepathy/

-Thoughts-

(Comments)

* * *

Everyone was now in the living room watching InuYasha. It was about ten o' clock.

"Hey sorry but I gotta get home. I wouldn't want to impose. Hiei are you coming with me?" asks Talia. /Say yes. Then they'll think we slept together but in reality you'll just sleep in the room I've given you at my house./

(The dialogue in / . . ./ is a telepathic message between characters that only those characters can hear. No one else knows what she just said to Hiei.)

"Yeah let's get going." Replies Hiei. /Good idea./

-No they're about to go. This will ruin my plans of exposing Hiei. -Thinks the fox and the ice Koorime.

"Wait Hiei, it's late. Do you really want to go? I'd like it best if you and Talia stayed the night. Then I'd know you were safe." Says the ice maiden with her sweet caring tone. -I know that because he's my brother he'll not wish to disappoint me, meaning he'll stay.-

-Thank you Yukina. You're probably the only one who could make Hiei stay.- Thinks Kurama.

"Um ok Yukina." Says Hiei.

/What do you mean by ok? If we stay, we'll have to share a bed. Just tell her no./ Responds Talia.

/I can't say no, she's my sister./ Replies Hiei

/We are not staying. You hear me---NO!/ Says Talia.

/Yes!/ Says Hiei.

/No!/ Says Talia.

/Yes!/Says Hiei.

/No!/ Says Talia.

/Yes!/ Says Hiei.

/No!/ Says Talia.

/Yes!/ Says Hiei.

/Yes!/ Says Talia.

/No!/ Says Hiei.

/Ok then no it is./ Says Talia while smirking.

/That's not fair. Now stay or I'll get you to stay by doing the pout./ Answers Hiei.

/You'd really do the pout in front of your friends and embarrass the hell outta yourself just to make me stay to keep your sister happy? That's pretty crappy./ Replies Talia.

/Well then what the hell am I supposed to do?/ Asks Hiei.

/Fine I'll stay but only because you'd trick me into staying with the puppy pout. You owe me big time Hiei. And I'm sleeping on one side of the bed with you on the other side of the bed./ Says Talia.

"Sure Yukina, we'd love to stay. But since you're about my size, do you have some clothes I could borrow to sleep in?" Asks Talia. -Can't believe what I'm doing.-

"Sure. Why don't you go take a shower and when you're done, I'll have Hiei give you some of my clothes." Replies the Koorime -I have an outfit she can wear. Hope she likes showing off in front of her 'mate.' Mahahahaha!-

"Thanks Yukina. Could you show me where the restroom is?" Asks Talia.

"Certainly. Follow me. " Says Yukina.

Yukina takes Talia to the restroom and gives her a towel. The Koorime then goes to her room and picks out Talia's outfit. Everyone else is still watching TV. Talia takes a 30 minute shower and then Tele-email's Hiei to hand her some clothes. Hiei asks Yukina where they are and she hands him a bag saying the clothes are inside. Hiei doesn't bother looking in the bag because he trusts his sister's judgment. He knocks on the door and Talia reaches out and grabs the bag. (He doesn't see anything.)He's about to walk away when . . . he hears Talia screaming at him in his head.

/Hiei what the fuck is this?!/ Asks an angry Talia.

/What do you mean? It's your clothes to sleep in./ Answers an annoyed Hiei.

/Come here. Did you look at the clothes in the bag? I want you to see them./ Says Talia as she sticks her hand outside the door handing Hiei the bag.

Hiei reluctantly opens it and turns bright red when he does. Inside the bag is an extremely revealing ice blue negligee. (One of those bra combo things with a see-through covering and little fo-fur on the top.)

/What the hell is MY sister doing with this? The tags are still on so she's never worn it but why would she but this? She can't really expect you to wear this can she?/ Asks Hiei.

/Yes she does. You told her we're mates you dumb-dumb. This is what women wear to impress their man. It's very common in the Ningenkai. And there's no way in hell I'm wearing this!/ Says Talia.

So she puts her work outfit back on and goes back to the den.

Meanwhile:

Yukina has went to her room, Keiko fell asleep on the couch, and Kuwabara is in his room thinking about how freaky it is that his love is related to Hiei. The others begin to talk of their situation.

"That girl is smart. She came up with a counter lie for each one of Kurama's questions." Says Shizuru.

"It's hard to believe Hiei found someone to pull this off. No matter what we come up with, she has something to block it with." Says Yusuke.

"True but in two days after I whip up that potion, we'll know the truth" Exclaims the fox.

"You know we might be able to figure out that tonight. All we have to do is see if she sleeps next to him. If she doesn't then she's probably not his mate." Replies Boton.

"Boton that's an excellent idea." Says Kurama.

Shortly after, they see Yukina walk in and sit down. A few minutes later, Talia and Hiei walk in. They all notice she's still wearing her same outfit.

"Why aren't you wearing the night gown I gave you?" Asks Yukina. -If she were really my brother's mate, she'd wear that night gown.-

"I wanted to say good night to everyone and didn't think it was appropriate to wear it front of everybody." Responds Talia. -I think she's testing us. She most likely knows I'm not his mate and is trying to expose us so she can be with him. But she can't be with him because she's his sister. This is just like a damn soap opera.-

"Ok." Says Yukina.-Couldn't of Hiei picked a stupid girl? Why did he have to find a smart one?-

"Well goodnight everyone." Says Talia.

"What did you mean not appropriate?" Asks Yusuke with a perverted grin.

Out of nowhere, Keiko in her sleep, slaps Yusuke and screams "Pervert!"

"Owww. Even when asleep she hits me." Says Yusuke while rubbing his cheek.

"I have a pretty blue revealing night gown that Kazuma gave me, except I can't fill it out right but I bet she can." Answers Yukina.

-Gggrrrr. I shall murder that perverted baka for giving that to MY sister! He will die a slow, no make that a very very slow and painful death filled with torture!- Thinks an angry fire demon.

-If Talia wears the gown, then she could be Hiei's mate but I bet my entire collection of stolen goods she doesn't. Tonight I'll go see if my suspicions are true.- Thinks the fox.

Talia and Hiei then leave and go to the bedroom Genkai lets him use. Hiei shuts the door and the two contemplate their situation.

"Hiei why was I given this outfit?" Asks Talia. -I am so not wearing this. Yukina gave it to me to test our relationship. I'm beginning to dislike her but Hiei doesn't think she could do such a thing. They are related and I bet she's more like him than he realizes.-

"I don't know but it seems you have to wear it." Answers Hiei casually. -Damn fox, he knows that if she doesn't wear it, she's not my mate. And if she's not my mate, he'll tell Yukina and then I'll have to tell her something so I don't have to be her mate. And the only something I can think of without hurting her feelings is I'm her brother but I can't tell her that either. - (He's reading Kurama's mind.)

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY I HAVE TO WEAR IT?! Are you some type of secret pervert who really wants nothing more than to see girls in lingerie?" Screams Talia.

"No I'm not. I don't want to see you in that. . ." Says Hiei before being interrupted. -Oops wrong thing to say.-

"Are you saying I'm ugly and can't wear this?" She asks while pretending to be hurt. -I know he means because I'm his friend but I love messing with his head and getting him to say stupid stuff.-

"No you're not ugly. . . it's cause you're my friend and it would be weird. . ." He replies as he hears laughter. -This is an awkward moment. I just called my friend not ugly so that makes her pretty and . . .bad thoughts.-

After reoveing form her fit of giggle, Talia says, "You're so easy to mess with. I know what you mean to say. But why do I have to wear it? No one will know if I do or don't."

"I read the fox's mind and he's planning to sneak in our room during the middle of the night and check on us. If you're not wearing it, he'll have proof we're not really mates." Answers Hiei.

"Oh. Hey since you can read minds, read your sisters. It was her doing that's making me wear this. I think she's up to no good." Says Talia.

"No not Yukina, she's too sweet to be cunning. And, she's my sister. I could never invade her mind. But I'll read the minds of everyone who knows of her being my sister." Says Hiei as he reads Kurama's Shizuru's, Yusuke's, Boton's, and Genkai's mind. He finds they have said nothing to Yukina.

(He doesn't read Keiko's or Kuwabara's mind because he thinks they don't know anything.)

"Ok, but only because I don't want you to look stupid and by association myself, will I wear this awful thing." Replies Talia. –Its getting progressively more complicated…-

* * *

"How did you like that? I thought it was good. Anyway read and review."


	6. Nosy Bastards & Some Weird Moments

Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "I can update woo-hoo. I am crazy boo-hoo. I lost my brain this morning what to do? I've had sugar yes I have. A whole lotta it I'm fricken mad. I should stop singing it's fucking sad."

Hiei: "How many candy bars did you eat this time you crack-head?"

Me: "One. . .and seven sodas, two boxes of peeps, some sweet snow, and a lollipop."

Hiei: "You're pitiful."

Me: "Oh just for that short-stuff I'm going to. . ." I whisper something in his ear.

Hiei: ". . . No you can't. That's wrong beyond reason. If you do that everyone will think I'm a pervert and you can't. That's too sick even for you."

Me: "Sorry but it must be done to teach you a lesson. Besides it's funny and the readers like funny stuff."

Hiei: "Don't or else I'll. . ."

Me: "Or else what? You can't stop me from writing so nah!" I stick my tongue out.

Hiei: " Hn, the baka authoress owns nothing not even her life for I am about to take that away as well."

Me: Mutters "I'd like to see you try."

* * *

Borris: "I thought having the baka give it to her would be funny . . .and I love Hiei's line about killing him."

maborshi kaji: "I changed the name of chapter 5 because a reviewer gave me a better idea. Hiei would never guess how his sister can act and Talia does like Hiei but doesn't fully realize it yet."

bowserjr: "Read your story loved it and glad you love mine too." : )

Boton-Hiei-Daughter: "They're jerks but it helps Hiei and Talia get closer."

Princess Krystal: "Your welcome and poor naive Hiei."

Katana-Jake: "Yeah maybe he does get a mate. . .or at least we get humor. And of course you sound like yourself everyone sounds like themselves."

Jessica: "Thanks for reviewing."

Hiei-lonewolf: "It's slow but I'm building up the story for chapter six."

Lil KaWaIi AzN PrInCeSs: "Thanks and since you want to torture the baka, I'll make sure he gets it."

Kay Hiei: "Hiei's probably six feet under and counting. . .wonder when he'll reach the other side of the world?"

Kurama-Haku: "Thanks."

Anonymous Hiei Fan: "Why do you call yourself anonymous?"

Night-Owl 123: "H.J.D. (Me) is glad you love this. Update A.S.A.P."

Pshcho24: "Yes and its hilarious. Yukina at a strip bar. . .ooh I got an idea!"

IceGoddessII: "We are lazy once you think about it. I'll update as soon as I finish my homework . . .it's EVIL" Oh and love your name."

Shadow-Seeker-13: "I luv ooc-ness, it's funny. Update soon."

Kimby: "She's going to wear it and it leads to some interesting developments to say the least. It wasn't smart of Yukina to say Kuwabara had given it to her but it gives Hiei a chance to beat the crap outta him. Happy yous happy. Bye."

Chow-chow: "You left your e-mail so do I e-mail you back. . .cause I did that once and the person freaked out. Weird huh?"

Vash-lover9: "Oh I loooove Vash the Stampede. Guess you're a fan too? Sometimes my friends say I'm kinky and have bad thoughts but I don't care, I hate plastic dish wear! I swear it's the sugar talking. And I'll type as fast as I can."

Ryoki Hirousuke: "I'll update A.S.A.P.. What's the deal with all these "I'll die if you don't update" threats?! Oh well they show I'm loved. Humor rules and craving it is a disease, I'm infected too. That fox is too smart and Hiei has to suffer but it's funny for us."

Vixen-Kitsunea: "I'll defiantly write more about hot Hiei. . ."

* * *

"Talking"

/Telepathy/

-Thoughts-

(Comment)

* * *

With Our Couple:

The two sit down on Hiei's bed for a moment and just stare at the ceiling. Neither knows what to say to the other.

"Um Hiei turn around so I can change into this . . .this thingy." Says Talia nervously.

"Sure" Replies Hiei as he turns around and takes off his shirt.

Talia changes and quickly slips under the covers.

"Ok you can turn around now." She says.

Hiei turns and climbs into the bed. He lies on the other side of the bed and there is an awkward silence for about ten minutes.

"Ok so this is all I have to do right? Since you've been my friend since we were five, it's kinda strange." Says Talia.

"The fox is thinking that for us to truly be mates we should share a bed, you wear that thingy, and we lay next to one another. So should scoot closer together?" Asks Hiei.

". . .Fine but I'm not doing anything else. Most friends wouldn't do this. We're like best friends with benefits." Replies Talia with a grin.

They scoot closer and lie next to one another.

"Hiei you are lost aren't you? Don't you know that couples lie like this?" Says Talia as she moves round.

She lies on her side, turns to face him, (He's laying on his side too.) and puts his arm on her back. But as she's doing this, her 'outfit' shows and Hiei can see a lot of cleavage and because of the way she's moving, her boobs are moving also. He just stares at her chest.

( I'm a very very blunt person. I hate when writers write "He was looking at her you know what or she was touching that area". . just write the word out. It saves time plus I'm not going to do that. If I mean boobs, I say boobs ok? If you don't like it too bad. Oh and Hiei is a guy so just remember that given the chance any man will look at some girls boobs. Trust me on that one. Even Ned Flanders from the Simpsons looks at that hot movie star girlfriend of his.)

Talia begins to notice that Hiei isn't looking at her face but a bit lower. That's when she figures out what he's doing and . . .

-Oh my god. He's starring at my boobs. He's Hiei, Hiei doesn't do that--- or does he? Over the past eleven years I've known him (She met him at five, she's now six-teen.) we have wound up in some weird situations--- maybe he does it on purpose. No he can't he's my friend only. . .right?- Thinks Talia.

-This is weird. I can't stop looking at her chest. She looks good in this outfit. . wait those are bad thoughts. I must end them now before my demonic instincts take over and make me do something stupid. Too late.- Thinks Hiei as he leans over and wraps his arm around her waist.

"Hiei what are you doing?" Asks Talia. -He's so close and so warm. I love the warm. (She's half fire demon-I'll explain later.) And he's muscular, I like this.-

They just sit like that for five minutes before he leans in to kiss her. It wasn't a peck but a kiss, tongue and all. Hiei's demonic instincts had taken over. A viable mate was in reach and seemed to be reciprocating. She had her hands wrapped around his neck and his were on her waist. They kept at it for a long time, even after someone knocked on the door and opened the door. Finally they broke apart to see Yukina and Keiko in the doorway.

"Uh, Hiei you um, stink so… go and take a shower." -That was nice but totally wrong. I need to think. I have to get him away from me for a little while.- "Hi Yukina. Hi Keiko. What's up?"

-She was making out with my brother! Maybe I have a sister-in-law after all. No, she's just acting again. Whoa and she's wearing that nightgown. If I didn't know better, I'd honestly believe they were mates. - "Hello Talia. How are you and Hiei doing?"

"Just fine. Um Hiei was about to go take a shower and I'm going to relax. . .so what did you two want?" Asks Talia. -Please leave like now!-

"Um we wondering what you did to get Hiei to like you? He's not that loving type so what did you do?" Asks Keiko. (Remember her and Yukina are working together to expose Hiei and Talia.)

"Well when I was five we meet. He worked with some thieves then and being the only one small enough to fit through the holes in the barrier, he had to come over to the human world and get things and talk with some of the thieves 'clients' and do business. He was only about five (He's like three months older than Talia and in my fic, he's 16.) then and I saw him outside my window and he looked lost. Apparently he had been told to find an address but not knowing the Ningenkai well enough he was lost. I opened my window and said I could help. He noticed I was a demon so he went in. After that, he always come and stay with me when he had to come to the Ningenkai. At about fourteen, he left the bandits and stole that thing from Koenma. Now he works with the others so I see more of him. A while back we got closer, so now I'm his mate." Says Talia.

(Ok everything she said up until I'm his mate is true for my fic only. Other people have different versions of Hiei staying with the thieves. The show never talks about his past much.)

"What lovely story." Says Yukina. -Hm, lovely lie.-

"Well if's that's all thanks for the gown and goodnight." Replies Talia. -Weird people asking too many questions. Like it's any of their business.-

"Goodnight" The girls reply as they leave. -We're going to have to sneak back later and check on them.-

-Yah! They're gone. Now what just happed between me and Hiei? We are defiantly more than just friends. And I think I think I like him or was it just because he started it? So confusing. I know everything about him and he knows everything about me. He can be a lot of fun when you know how to mess with him and he's never been mean to me so why not like him? He'd hot, he's got a good body, and he's not stupid. But what if what he did was just out of demonic instinct? I don't want to rush things cause what just happened was a little fast. Hope no other weird moments happen during the night since I can barely cope with what just happened.-

With Hiei: 

He has gone to the restroom that's connected to his room and is taking a shower. -How could I have done that to my best friend? What was I thinking?! I wasn't thinking it was these damn demonic instincts right? Or was it something else? This is confusing and I don't like it. This is why I hate feelings, I can never figure out what they mean.- He finishes and puts on his boxers and pants, then he walks to his room and lays down on his bed.

There is about thirty minutes of silence. Finally they both say at almost the same time. . ."I'm sorry."

"Huh?" They say again simultaneously.

"Ok why don't we just forget what happened and go to sleep." Says Talia.

Both lay down and Hiei lightly wraps his arm around her to create the illusion of them really being together. (Sure it's just an illusion?) They fall asleep in about twenty minutes and completely forget about Kurama coming to "check up" on them. An hour later the crafty fox, quietly opens their door (He leaves it open or the noise might wake them up.) and grows a vine in his hand. He lets the vine crawl up the wall and lifts himself up too. He's on the ceiling now. Because Hiei and Talia are covered up, he can't tell if they're next to one another so he lets some of his leaves go down and pulls off the cover a little bit.

What he doesn't know is that everyone in the house had basically the same idea. Boton had snuck in after him and was hiding under a small table, Yusuke had come in and hid in the closet with the door open a bit, Yukina and Kuwabara came in next and slipped under the bed after they saw someone move, and Keiko had tip-toed in and hid in the restroom with the door slightly ajar. Everyone was too busy to notice anyone else. They all thought they were going to catch the two sleeping separately and Talia not wearing her outfit. How wrong they were.

After about two minutes of careful watching, Kurama had managed to pull the covers back a little. Unfortunately the end of one of his leaves had touched Talia's face. She woke up immediately and sat up. Everyone thought they had been caught. She also hears a sneeze, a giggle, and someone bumping into something. Talia reaches over and shakes Hiei awake.

She whispers "Hiei, I think there's someone in this room. Use your Jagan eye to check it out."

"Hn fine." Says Hiei sleepily while yawning. He unwraps his bandana and searches the room. "Hm, you're right. Turn on the light." /I told you we'd be having visitors tonight. Now act all mad and shocked about what they did./

/Alright one mad fake mate coming up. Anything else?"/ Asks Talia telepathically.

/Hn, scream and flip out. Oh and when you first see them make your eyes get big and let your mouth hang open for a moment. I'll give them my trademark glare./ Replies Hiei.

/Good plan./ Says Talia as she reaches over and turns on the lamp next to the bed.

The light turns on and the two find Kurama hanging from the ceiling suspended by a large vine. They see Boton's kimono sticking out from under the table, Yusuke's foot, Kuwabara's hand, and Keiko's eyes. Talia lets her mouth hang open for about a minute before screaming her lungs out.

"FUCKING WEIRDOS!!!" She screams.

Hiei glares at everyone and uses his speed and katana to chop down Kurama's vine which causes him to fall on his cute tushie, slices the table in half, which scares Boton shit-less, and slices down the door to the closet and restroom to find Keiko and Yusuke. Then he kicks Kuwabara out from under his bed and is shocked to see Yukina under there as well.

"Yukina what are you doing under my bed?" Says a very confused Hiei. -She's under my bed with the baka! Why?! This is too wrong. I bet he dragged her here but why?-

Everyone looks scared. Talia was pissed off and Hiei looked like he was ready to kill.

He uttered one word "Explain."

"Well you see um I don't know how to say this but. . ."Says Kurama. -Great what to say? If I say because I don't believe him and Talia are mates it would look bad on my part and if Yukina hears . . .oh this is hard. And she's wearing that lingerie! And she was sleeping next to Hiei! Maybe they are mates? No they aren't it's just an elaborate act.-

"Hiei your friends are some type of **Psycho Perverts!** They were watching us sleep! How weird can you get?" Asks Talia.

"It's not anything like that! We were. . .uh um " Replies Boton. -Oh great now what.-

"If you can explain yourselves I'll calm down. So explain NOW!" Replies Talia.

There was silence and you could hear crickets chirp.

"Ok then out. . .Now!" She says.

Then she sees Yusuke and the guys looking at her funny. It seems they were still in shock about her wearing that outfit next to Hiei.

"Hiei they're looking at me." Exclaims a nervous Talia as she hides under the covers.

"QUIT LOOKING AT MY ONNA." He says with gritted teeth.

They run out and all go to the living room.

Hiei and Talia complement each other on a job well done and go back to sleep. It' about midnight when they go back to la-la land. But Hiei has a different type of la-la land.

Hiei's Dream:

He saw Talia lying down in the clothes Yukina had given her. Yukina was right; Talia did fill it out good. She walked over slowly and grabbed his hand, leading him to the bed and….

* * *

"I end there. Mahahahhahahahahhahahahah!!! Hehe a cliffy. Sorry but I'm sleepy so deal with it."


	7. A Dream, Strange Wakeupcall &Her Sister

Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "Hello moto. I've gotten into the sugar again. Yum sugary goodness. . ."I drool. "This chappie is crazy. Poor horny Hiei. It's really funny. I love my bunny. . . slippers."

Hiei: "You should cut back on the sugar. And what's this about me being horny?"

Me: "Remember that dream. . ." I whisper to him.

Hiei: ". . .WHAT?!!! HOW COULD YOU?!!! THAT"S JUST PLAIN WRONG!!!"

Me: "So? It's funny."

Hiei: "I will give you a slow and painful death."

Me: "No you won't. Cause you love me."

Hiei: "You really are delusional? Hn, this authoress owns nothing and will never own nothing.

Me: "If I don't own nothing, doesn't that mean I own something?"

Hiei: "Baka."

* * *

hiei's lover-hiei is mine-Arwen: "Curse irony. . .but I love irony. I'll write more about Hiei and I'm totally evil."

bowserjr: "Loved your fic. And thanks for all the compliments."

Shadow-Seeker-13: "Thanks and I'll keep writing."

kimby: "Glad you love it and I'll keep it up. Update really soon."

Kay Hiei: "Glad you think Talia and Hiei make a great team and couple."

Princess Krystal: "What does LOLZ mean?"

Maborshi Kaji: "The others can't believe that Hiei has a mate. And for Hiei those are GOOD dreams. Talia is going to join the team with a mission but that's for the sequel. Guess great minds think alike. I'm putting that on a sequel because there's no way I'd be able to fit the mission in with my original summary (They only let you use 250 letters).

Katana Jake: "Well Hiei gets even badder . . . Hehe"

Anonymous Hiei Fan101: "I don't know why I do stuff either. I'll update soon."

Thia: "I was tired. I had to stop typing. Glad you like the story line and I think that people should stop making Yukina so dumb. I'll keep up the good work hopefully."

Jessica: "I'll update A.S.A.P. and thanks for reviewing."

Night-Owl123: "One update A.S.A.P. coming right up."

Hiei's fire dragon girl: ""In most animes demons do claim mates by biting them. It never mentions it in Yu Yu Hakusho but I love the idea. And in one myth, demons have instincts that cause them to do certain things. Demons aren't prone to being loving, so the little love they do have is primarily out of instinct."

ojosnergo: "I love funny and glad you and everyone else loves my fic."

Chow-Chow Binks: "I'll check put your fice, glad you think this is the best you've ever read, and yes it will lead to a lemon. (Correct me if I'm wrong but a lemon is a sex scene?")

Suhan: "Hilarious? Cool. Thanks for the compliment and I mainly write humor fics. Well I did until they deleted my previous account. Curse them!"

Hiei-lonewolf: "In reality, everybody is perverted. I'll continue for sure."

Jagan I: "Couldn't stop reading. .. you must really like it. And if your dying maybe I should update for legal purposes . . .Hehe." : )

Psycho 24: "Dreams do come true. . Mahahahahhahahah!!!!!!!!"

Jessica flores aka Jesse: "Hiei and Talia rock and Kurama is sorta like the bad guy, who's really the good guy trying to bust them. Happy you love this."

Kayoko: "Cute? Cool."

malbell: "I'll write more to save you from dying. Bye."

* * *

"Talking"

/Telepathy/

-Thoughts-

(Comments)

_The little voice in your head_

**WARNING**: "I'm continuing the dream and it's a bit nasty. So if you don't like lemons and stuff cease reading at once. Oh and now italics are like the character's conscience."

* * *

Hiei's Dream:

He saw Talia lying down in the clothes Yukina had given her. Yukina was right; Talia did fill it out good. She walked over slowly and grabbed his hand, leading him to the bed and….

She laid him down on the bed. She got on top of him on all fours, and gave him a kiss. When she broke away he was breathless.

"How did you like that Hiei?" Asks Talia seductively.

"Uh-huh."He Replies.

She leans over and starts undressing him. When she's done, she removes her clothing. He passionately kisses her neck and she moans. He squeezes a breast as she mounts him. He enters her slowly and then they begin to have sex.

End Of His Little Wet Dream And Back To Reality:

Our fake couple is sleeping peacefully. Both are lying on their sides and Hiei has his arm around her waist. But due to Hiei's trip to la-la land, some strange things happen. Talia is woken up be something or in this case someone, steadily rocking back and fourth behind her. It keeps bumping into her, so she sleepily says "Quit it." After this continues for another few minutes she is fully awake.

-Huh? What the fuck is going on? Who keeps bumping into me and what is that long hard thing that keeps poking me? Uh, what a way to be woken up."- She thinks.

She reaches down and grabs the 'thing' poking her. She was right about one thing, IT was a Thing!

-Oh god! Ooooh god! Hiei is behind me, doing some type of sleep-fuck! This is disturbing! And I just touched his dick! Eeep! So wrong. But why? Doesn't he know what he's doing? He's sleep-fucking his best friend and I'm wearing very little clothing! And to top it all off, his little friend is hard so that means he's horny. . . for me! I have to move away from him before anything else happens.- Talia tries to pry Hiei off of her but his grip is too strong.

-Shit! He's got a bear like grip. I can't get away!_ But why would you want_ _to? He is cute and you do like him, so why not let this continue?_ No it must end. This isn't right. He doesn't know what he's doing. It just male hormones!_ Maybe but for him to be turned on the way he is, he has to be attracted to someone nearby and the only someone is you._ Uh. . .Your just saying that so shut-up!- Thinks a confused Talia.

She then tries to wake Hiei up."Hiei wake up." She says as she tries to shake him awake.

But he doesn't return from his dream. Instead it seems like his grip is tighter and he starts to moan. -Just great now he's enjoying this. But it's not so bad . . . I guess I could handle this. Better not tell Hiei though, he might get embarrassed or he'd act all strange again.- She thinks.

Hiei starts moving faster and he's getting exited, really really excited! Then Talia feels that the sheets are wet. He had released all over the bed.

-Eeeewww! Who the hell is so great that Hiei, the cold-hearted Hiei, is dreaming about having sex with them and is this horny? _Stupid it's you. Who else would it be?_ Na-uh it can't be. . could it?- Thinks Talia.

He stops, opens his eyes, and yawns. "Why are the sheets wet Talia?" He asks.

She has freaked out and is now pretending to be asleep. -I can't let him know I know what he just did and didn't stop him! I tried but. . . I accomplished nothing.- She thinks.

Hiei, believing her to be asleep, looks under the covers and sees that the wetness has come from him. He had a little accident. That's when he remembered the dream. -Oh shit. I dreamed about having sex with my best friend and I was so into it, I released and I'm still hard! Oh fuck! Good thing she's asleep or this would be awkward. I shouldn't have had that dream. That dream was bad. . . I should not think like that ever! _Why not? She's gorgeous and she actually cares for you. And that dream tells all. . .You love her, you want to be with her, hell you even want to fuck her! _SHUT UP! Hn, better change these sheets.- Thinks Hiei as he gets up and removes most of the covers.

Figuring he can't take the all the sheets off without Talia getting up, he picks her up (Remember she's only pretending to be asleep) and sets her down on a small futon. He puts the sheets in the hamper and replaces them with fresh ones. Then he grabs Talia and gently lays her back down on the bed. He's still wet, so he goes and takes a quick shower. He finishes and lies back down because it's four in the morning.

With Everybody Else:

After Talia yelled at them, they all went to their rooms and tried to sleep. Most were too busy thinking about what happened to fall asleep but by two, everyone was asleep.

Later at six in the morning, the fox and Yukina woke up. Both thought it would be wise to stay out of the couple's room. Yukina made breakfast and Kurama sat at the table deep in thought.

-That girl was sleeping next to Hiei and she was wearing what Yukina gave her. He even had his arm around her! Maybe she really could be his mate and their story is true. . .No I bet he read my mind and got her to play along. But what of he threatened her into going along with this? I might have to talk to her alone and get some answers. But last night, why were Yukina, Kuwabara, and Keiko in the room? They don't know about Yukina being Hiei's sister so why? Might have to ask Yukina about that.- "Yukina why were you in Hiei's room last night?" Asks a clever fox.

"I don't believe she is Hiei's mate and I had to know." She says.

-Should I tell her the truth about her being related to Hiei? No he must tell her.- Thinks Kurama.

"Oh. I had the same reason for being there as well."

After he says that, the rest of everyone comes down. They could all smell Yukina's delicious cooking. Everyone except Hiei and Talia.

"Those two must be having some fun cause Hiei never sleeps this late." Says Yusuke before Keiko hits him in the back of the head and mutters "Hentai."(I believe that's Japanese for pervert. I heard it being used but wouldn't know, cause I'm Hispanic.)

They are all enjoying breakfast, when they hear a knock at the temple door. Kurama goes and answers the door to find a beautiful girl about his height with waist length silver hair and matching eyes.

"Um excuse me but have you seen two extremely short people. One is named Talia and she's got orange hair and has the disease of obsessive compulsive lying and the other is called Hiei and he's got an attitude that's too big for a guy that small. They should be flirting without realizing it and then claiming their 'just friends'." Replies the girl. -Oh he's cute fox.-

"Yes we do but their asleep. Who might you be? And my name is Kurama." He answers. -She knows the two of them. Great, maybe I can get her to tell me everything. Hm Talia is known for lying. I knew she was acting but she also said they flirt a lot and say their just friends. . . hm better think some more. This girl is a vixen and she's exceptionally beautiful. Where did that thought come from? It must be Yoko.-

"I am Kira (Say Kai-ra to pronounce her name) and I happen to be Talia's sister. We're not related by blood but only be marriage. I sensed her and her little boyfriend's power over here so I came to see them. May I come in?" She asks. -Love his hair.-

"Certainly. Why don't you join me for a little chat about your little sister since she and Hiei are asleep?" He Says. -Perfect. Her sister should know just about everything about her.-

"Sure but she's actually MY BIG sister even though I'm taller. Funny huh?" Says Kira.

Kurama laughs and says "Would you like some tea while we talk?"

"That sounds good. I've been in the Makai for three months now and a nice cup of tea would be wonderful."She says.

The others come in and wonder who she is.

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Kira, Talia's sister. She's come looking for her and her mate." Replies the fox.

"What do mean by mate? My sister doesn't have a mate does she?" -Ok what has my sister been up to?-

-I knew it was a sham. Those two are liars.- Thinks everyone.

"Oh she didn't tell you, she's now Hiei's mate." Says Kurama. -Let's see how she reacts to that.-

"About time. Those two flirt so much its nauseating. I was wondering when they quit saying they were just friends and admit everything." Replies Kira. - Now I'm Hiei's sister-in-law. Cool.-

"Your happy about this development?" Asks Kurama. -They flirt a lot and say they're only friends. . interesting.-

"Sure I am. Now I have a brother-in-law and Hiei and her make a great couple. She's the only one he'll listen to and he's never ever been mean to her. They might play-fight but it's not for real." She replies.

"So they really are mates then?" Asks Kurama.

"You're the one that told me they are, so shouldn't you know the answer to that?" Kira asks. -What a strange question.-

"Well you see. . .Begins Kurama as he tells Kira everything (Ps. Yukina, Keiko, and Kuwabara are in another room talking).

"Well if that's what's going on, then I don't know. Talia is a good liar but she's really close to Hiei. I don't think she's pretending." Responds Kira.

"So we're right back where we started, totally lost." Says the detective.

"Not really. We now know there's something between them but what?" Asks Kurama.

"Would any of you like to see what kind of relationship those two have?" Asks Kira with a mischievous glint in her eyes. -This is going to be funny.-

"What do you mean?" Asks Kurama. -It seems she knows all about their relationship. She could provide us with all the information I need to trick Hiei into telling the truth.-

"If you'll take me to them, I'll show you." She replies. -I love messing with my older sister.-

Kurama leads Kira and everyone to Hiei's room. Along the way, Yukina and the others emerge and are introduced to Kira. They were in Yukina's room talking about the same things as the others basically. Kurama opens the door and they walk in. Hiei and Talia are asleep on the bed.

"Perfect. Could someone please go get me a small bowl of ice-cream and some chocolate sauce?" Asks Kira.

"Sure I'll go get some." Says Yukina. -If I can learn about my brother's REAL relation to this girl, I'm more than happy to help.-

-What is she up to?- Is the though in everybody's head.

Yukina returns with a bowl of vanilla ice-cream and some chocolate sauce.

"My sister is addicted to this stuff. She loves it and for the past two years I've been performing the little experiment I'm about to show you." Exclaims Kira.

Kira opens the bottle of chocolate sauce and pours some on Hiei's face, especially around his lips. (Hiei is really tired so that's why he's still asleep.)

She whispers "Hey Talia, I have chocolate for you."

Talia moans softy and rolls over to Hiei. ". . .Um, delicious chocolate. Yawn, I'll want it." She says as she leans over Hiei and begins to lick the chocolate sauce off his face.

At this everyone just gapes at Talia but Kira and Yusuke are laughing.

"You see all demons have a heightened sense of smell. However Talia will only get the chocolate on Hiei. If you put it on anybody else, she won't touch it. Now watch and see more freaky wonders." states Kira while smiling.

Talia begins to kiss Hiei and he does the same back. They are having a tongue war. Everyone's eyes go OO and they just stare.

"Didn't know the little booger had it in him." Says Yusuke.

It's not over yet. The best part is yet to come." Replies Kira.

Kira grabs the bowl of ice-cream and lightly puts some on her sister's chest. Then she whispers "Hiei there's sweet snow. . .go get it!"

Hiei sniffs around, finds the sweet snow and licks it off Talia's chest. This causes Talia to giggle.

"Stop it. You know I'm ticklish. . .this isn't funny. You damn dummy." Says Talia while being half-awake.

Kira motions for them to hide outside the door in case they wake up.

Talia wakes up and sees Hiei licking her boobs.

-. . . .What is he doing to me? I smell chocolate and I taste it in my mouth. It seems to be on Hiei's face. . . and I smell my sister too, why does this scenario seem familiar- Thinks Talia as she puts two and two together and figures everything out. -Great my sister showed up and did this to us. This has happened before. . why did I never suspect it was her doing. I never caught Hiei licking me, but I kept feeling like someone had whenever I feel asleep and both my sister and Hiei were with me. She must have being this to us all this time. . .that means I've kissed Hiei before this and not even realized it. Oh what to do? The guys are outside and if I move Hiei, they'll know this was a sham and it will all be for nothing. I just have to sit here and hope he wakes up soon. _Oh come on you know you want him to keep on. Just let him and enjoy. It's fun and he's fine. _Stop talking now. I'm confused enough as it is.-

Talia lies there and after a few minutes her giggling wakes Hiei up. He momentarily freaks out but Talia glances in the direction of the others and he calms down a bit.

/Talia what's going on? And why do I smell like chocolate and taste sweet snow in my mouth?/ Asks the confused fire demon.

/My sister is here. You know how for the past two years we have sometimes woken up next to one another and smelled of chocolate and sweet snow? My sister has been doing this to us and thinks it to be funny. She puts chocolate on your face, which I lick off, and sweet snow on my boobs which you lick off. It's not your fault or mine so let's just kill my sister later and not think of it. Not that I didn't like it, it was just um different. . . / Replies Talia -I just said I kinda liked it . . .SHIT.-

/I know what you mean I feel the same way and . . /Says Hiei. -Fuck. I've done nothing but think about my friend as more than a friend. Isn't there an old saying that says if you pretend to be something long enough, you'll eventually become that something? So by us pretending to be mates we've kinda become mates. I think I lo lo lo like my best friend! I had dreams about her, she now turns me on and I now know that for the past two years her sister has been getting us to make out while being asleep! -

The two get up and with his lighting fast speed, he appears right in front of his friends.

"Hn, seems you enjoy watching me and Talia. Maybe there is something wrong with you. If I catch you again I'll kill you. I'll let last night slide but nothing else. This is your last warning." Says Hiei with a voice free of emotion. He walks out and goes to the kitchen to get some food.

"Um could you please shut my door so I can get dressed? Kira would you come here and tell me about your trip?" Asks Talia. -I shall kill my sister.-

"Ok" Replies Kira as she shuts the door.

* * *

"Bet you weren't expecting her sister to show up. I have plans for her. Read and review. All flames will be used to light the torches I use to burn angry reviewers. T.T.F.N. TA-Ta For Now."


	8. Kira's Big Mouth&Plot to Keep Foxes Busy

Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "I can update YAH! I've had tons of fun being stupid, perverted, and crazy lately."

Hiei: "Aren't you always like that?"

Me: "No sometimes I'm nice and sometimes I'm down-right evil, but yeah mostly I'm a crazy perverted weirdo."

Hiei: "You actually know how to be nice?"

Me: "Haha very funny. And if I wasn't nice would I do this?" I hug him.

Hiei: "Onna let go now before I kill you."

Me: "No you're comfy. Now while I use Hiei as a pillow you read the fic."

* * *

Night-Owl123: "Thanks and glad you liked it."

bowserjr: "I'm weird and during class two of my friends and I were coming up with a list of strange ways to fuck and I remembered this lady on the radio saying her boyfriend would subconsciously hump her in his sleep. . .I died of laugher that day."

Maborshi Kaji: "The sister isn't exactly evil---she's a lot like Kurama. And she's not dense, just read and you see what I mean."

Shadow-Seeker-13: "It's not just Hiei, everyone is a pervert but making him one is funny."

Yuikey: "Thanks for reviewing."

Princess Krystal101: "Glad you enjoyed it."

Hidden Pagan: "I would never give up on a fic unless I'm in my death bed and I'd probably have a lab top right next to me to the very end. Glad you think my fic is humorous--- I'll update soon."

Kay Hiei: "Kira is evil like Kurama. Talia will kill her later. . ."

Jessica: "Thanks and do you always use the same review?"

nylida: "Someone has a thing for funny and if Hiei can be evil then why not his sister?"

spontaneously-combustive-fork: "Interesting name. I'll defiantly continue."

Suntiger: "Whoa the best you've ever read. . . I like that. I will continue and glad you like the humor."

Hiei'slover-Hiei is mine-Arwen: "I always reply. I think it's sucky not to. And yeah everyone wants to kill Kira. And if you're evil then you're my new evil friend. Hehe."

* * *

"Talking"

/Telepathy/

-Thoughts-

(Comments)

_The little voice inside your head _

* * *

Kira goes into her sister's room and shuts the door. She sits down on the bed while Talia changes back into her work uniform for the moment anyway.

"Sister WHY did YOU put chocolate and ice-cream on Hiei and myself and then watch us lick it off?!" Asks Talia. -Stupid moron! How could she?-

"Talia I did it because. . . . . . . . . . . . .it was FUNNY! Besides I've been doing it for the past two years and I know you like your Hiei-kun." Answers Kira with a grin.

". . .That's not the point stupid! We weren't conscious of our behavior and that means we've been making out by your little game for two fucking years! And now I'm going to kill you!" Replies an angry Talia.

"No you're not. Did you think I didn't know you were planning at getting back at me? I knew but came in anyway because I know that if you hurt me it would look bad in front of everyone. Hurting your sister for letting others see you kiss, what's really so wrong about that if you're now mates. In less you aren't. . . but even if you say you aren't I know you actually do love Hiei. You have since we were kids. All that flirting but you two considered it to be just friendly behavior. Ha more like you were too blind to see it."Says Kira as she as acts like she knows everything.

"Sister we are mates and I suggest you shut-up. Because although I may be shorter I always was the better fighter and I'll just get you later. Now quit with your games and shit and tell me how your trip was to the Makai." Says Talia. -I can't let Kira know I'm just pretending for Hie's sake or being the goodie two shoes she is, she'll tell on me. Wait Kurama is a fox too and he's a goodie two shoes, maybe I can get her to like him and they'll be so distracted, they'll leave Hiei and myself alone. But we still have to worry about Yukina.-

"Well I gathered some extremely rare plants and was studying various things. It was quite enjoyable." She replies.

"What did you steal this time you pick-pocketing moron?" Asks Talia suspiciously.

"How dare you accuse your own sister of stealing . . . A mirror, some pearls, and lots of money." She answers with a toothy grin.

"Idiot. Well let's go to the living room and get some breakfast." -Perfect. From what Hiei's told me, Kurama loves to steal things and their both a bunch of wanna-be know it all's. They'll make a great couple with a little pushing in the right direction. Hehe.- Thinks Talia.

They go to the kitchen and Yukina serves them some food. Kira eats pancakes and Talia has cereal. Yukina and Kurama both figure they can get Kira to tell more of Hiei's and Talia's real relationship. However Kurama also has another motive. . .Kira's half fox-demon. Hiei is sitting down eating some toast and drinking some juice and unknown to everyone else he and Talia are communicating telepathically.

/Hn, why is your sister here and why haven't you got rid of her. I don't mind her being here but she might blow our cover. She'd want me to tell Yukina everything and tell on us. She's too much like that damn fox. . .you thinking what I'm thinking?/ Asks Hiei.

/Exactly. We get those two to flirt and leave us alone. / Replies Talia.

/So what now?/ Asks Hiei.

/We wait and see what is thrown at us and we throw it right back./ She replies.

The so-called couple finishes breakfast and then goes back to Hiei's room. As soon as they leave, Kira is asked a million questions about her sister.

"Kira I don't believe Talia is Hiei's mate. I think it's just an act." Says Boton.

"You clearly don't know much about Hiei does in his spare time. Those two spend more time together than Koenma and his paperwork!" Exclaims Kira. -They don't believe my sister . . .I don't know if I do either but I do know she loves Hiei whether she's his mate or not. -

"Please elaborate." Says an interested kitsune.

"You guys get a check form Koenma right?" They all nod. "And you all spend it on things you need. But what does Hiei do with all that Ningen money? Sure he gives some to Genkai and Yukina because during missions he stays here but what about the rest of it? My sister gets it all of it. Hiei has no real use for it and lets my sister manage it. She spends it on all kinds of things. And even worse, she knows how to actually get Hiei to go to the mall. How she does it, I still don't know. And to top it all off, where do think he is when he's not here? He has to stay in this city and only this city due to his probation. He stays with Talia. All that time spent with her and they're usually all alone. Do you want to know why she lives alone instead of with my parents? She purposely got into this nearby magnet school, so mom would let her get a place here. She did this to be in the same city as Hiei. If that doesn't prove they love each other I don't know what does." Explains Kira.

"Interesting. Kira, you said they flirt and claim to be friends. Can you give me some examples of them flirting. I want to blackmail Hiei." Says Kurama. -Really I just want enough info to get Hiei to tell the truth. Although blackmail would be fun. . .-

"Well they usually fall asleep together in her living room. She calls him over to do the stupidest things and he agrees to it. He's Hiei for crying out loud, Hiei doesn't do those kind of things but he does. . .only for her. When she's upset she confides in him and he listens and just for that little moment his eyes soften and he looks like he genuinely cares. She's the only person I know to receive that look from him. Plus when either of them gets hurt, the other is constantly worrying. She couldn't sleep during the Dark Tournament because she kept thinking he was going to get killed." Answers Kira. -He hopes to get me to tell all, but what is there really to tell except they love each other even though they don't admit it.-

"Oh. Well thanks for answering our questions. We'll leave you be for now." Says Kurama politely.

"I was wondering if you could show me around this temple. The plants here are lovely and I'd like to get a closer look at them. " Says Kira. -I get to check out the plants here not to mention one cute fox.-

They go outside and Kurama begins to show her around.

* * *

"Yeah it's short so sue me. I only got 14 reviews but that's not why this is short. See I have two tests tomorrow and they're going to each last an hour and a half. Torture. So sorry but it can't be helped. Besides I figured a short update is better than no update. Bye."


	9. Strange Conversations and Evil Kitsunes

Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "Hi-ya! Today I can hopefully give a semi-long update. Life has been very busy lately. I get way too much homework and have to redo my science fair project in TWO FUCKING days because my teacher is a DAMN MORON and tells me at the last minute, she doesn't like my idea. SCREW HER!!! I HATE the BITCH with a passion."

Hiei: "Someone needs anger management."

Me: "Shut-up stupid!"

Hiei: "O_O"

Me: "Now that that's out of my system, on with the fic!"

Hiei: "Hn the stupid and vengeful woman owns nothing so if you sue you'll get nothing. It's waste of your time, just like this is a waste of your and my time."

Me: "Watch it bub, or you'll feel more feelings and stuff."

Hiei: "Hn."

* * *

Starlite Destiny: "Thanks for telling me to fix the typo. Embarrassing typos suck. . .one time I put 'She was afraid of loins' instead of lions! Loins are a man's private area . . . so I looked stupid."

Maborshi Kaji: " I'll try and make it longer but I'm super busy with Science Fair and History Fair. I HAVE TO DO BOTH!!! It sucks. I modeled her sister after my nosy brother. . . he listens in on my phone conversations!"

Shadow-Seeker-13: "I made Kurama's curiosity get the better of him."

Night-Owl: "Glad your loving it. I'll update when I can."

Princess Krystal 01: "Matchmaking is fun."

Kurama: "Thanks. Were you sugar high when you wrote this? Hiei's and Talia's relationship. . . I'm not telling! And in this fic Kurama is a nosy ass hole but I love him anyway."

bowsrejr: "Thanks and I did alright on my evil tests. Fox boy is smart enough to blackmail someone. . ."

romi: "They are my jobs too. Thanks for loving this and I'll think about writing a Hiei/Kurama fic."

dragonkatana: "Yusuke hasn't been that perverted because I keep forgetting to make him like that but don't worry he will be. Some people are crazy and think that saying I love you over the Internet is truthful. . fucking retarded weirdos."

Jessica: "Thanks but QUIT USING THE SAME RESPONSE!"

diane: "This fic is a little dirty but happy you think the idea's funny."

pepsi-dog: "Thanks and I'll keep writing."

a person: "Most readers think Talia is made for Hiei. I hate it when someone makes Hiei be with a girl who isn't the type of girl you see him going for. Happy you like this."

Hiei-lonewolf: "Don't worry, they get Talia's sister to stay out of the way."

fangslayer: "No updatesuffocate? Wouldn't want to be responsible for another death so I'll update soon hopefully. Hehe."

hieifavfangirl: "Thanks. I'll defiantly continue."

borris: "For sueing me you get. . . a paper clip, a button, two gummy worms, and some pennies. Sorry but that's all I got. If someone doesn't have fun being stupid, perverted, and crazy, they are creepy. Bye."

hiei'slover-hiei is mine-Arwen: "Hiya my evil friend. If you write a fic, say so and I'll check it out. Who doesn't want to see more of Hiei? . . ."I droll

LeaMarie F. Rocket: "Thanks for the luck and Ill try and keep up with the good work."

yodai hiro: "Hiei is so the hottest anime character ever! They do seen to be made for each other but to find out what happens you must continue reading. . . Mahahahaha! Cough. Gag. I need to work on my evil laugh."

* * *

"Talking"

/Telepathy/

-Thoughts-

(Comments)

_The little voice inside your head_

* * *

Kurama leads Kira behind the temple and begins to show her all the trees and plants growing in the forest. She gathers several flowers and herbs and says "I'd love to use them in my potion making."

Kurama smiles and they continue to talk about plants. Meanwhile, two little mischievous demons plot their matchmaking scheme. They are in Hiei's room, sitting on the bed, trying to come up with a good idea.

"Hm, what to do to them to get them to speed up the relationship process? I can tell she likes him. She gave him the look." Says Talia.

"The fox seemed to like her as well . . . maybes we could get them drunk and let them do everything. Alcohol makes anyone do some pretty strange crap and I know that both Kira and Kurama are crazy, flirty drunks. They'd be all over each other like stink on shit." He replies.

"True but once they figured out it was us, they'd be mad. And if they're mad and like each other, they'll work together to expose us for the liars we really are." Says the devilish girl.

"You're right. But what then?" Asks the fire demon.

"My sister and Kurama are fond of potions made of plants . . . let's see how they react to potions once they betray them. We'll go to my house and pick up some 'Tell all' potion. It will make the drinker say whatever their currently thinking about. All we have to is put some in their food and va-la they will say their feelings for one another and that's the end of our problem. But what about Yukina?" She asks.

"What about Yukina?" The confused Koorime asks.

"Well dud, she has it out for us. She doesn't believe we're mates and has been trying to make us screw-up this entire time. Look at what she gave me to wear. That was used to test our relationship. She likes you and wants to disprove our relationship to get you. Remember she's your sister . . . some of that cunningness has got to have gone to her too." Exclaims Talia.

(Ok both Hiei and Talia still think Yukina doesn't know about her being his sister. That's why Talia thinks Yukina likes Hiei.)

"No she's too sweet to be cunning. How could you even suggest something like that?" Replies the fire demon in a slightly angry tone.

"Hiei my sister is a pain in the ass at times, just like every younger sibling is . . . and I know Yukina is the same way. So to prove it, I want you to read her mind. She knows something and we need to know what. " She says. -Shesh he has three eyes and he's still blind to his sister's actions. Dummy.-

"I will not read my sister's mind. I trust her." He says raising his voice slightly.

"So you're going to trust her more because she's your sister. Not to talk bad about her, but she doesn't know you as well as I do, and I've always been there for you as you have for me. She can't be important to you than me, can she?"Asks Talia. -He better not say she's more important. _Oh so you do care._ Huh? _You want to be important to him than his sister because you_ _love him in a way a sister or anyone else ever could._ . . .No I don't. It's just that I help him more. . .Oh I don't know why I want to be more important than her, I just do. _Sure. _-

". . . ?" Says Hiei. -Who's more important my sister or my best friend . . . damn this a hard choice? I would have never found Yukina without the help of Talia but my sister is related to me by blood. So who? Urgh! _Chill hothead. Talia is the oblivious choice. You were dreaming about her in a very intimate way and a mate is more important than a sister. If you can't figure that out then you're really stupid. _Just be quiet. _-_

"She's more important, isn't she? You're impossible. I put up with a lot and after all we've been through . . . how could think she is more important?"She asks hurt.

"What do mean you put up with a lot? What have we been through?" Asks Hiei confused. -_Stupid_ _that was the wrong thing to say. You suck at dealing with women._ I thought I told you to be quiet.-

"You are a FUCKING MORON! Most friends would never in a million years go along with pretending to be your mate just to get you out of a tight spot. Look at how Kurama and the others want to turn you in. I've help you and you still think Yukina is more important. I even said nothing about how you kissed me, kept starring at boobs, proceeded to sleep-fuck me, then get happy and get your stuff all over the sheets. I even slept next to you in barely any clothing and SHE IS STILL MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME? YOU SUCK!" -OOPS! I said the sleep-fuck thing. I tried not to mention it because now he's going to act all funny but I was so angry, I wasn't thinking. _Ooh! Someone screwed them self._ Quit talking you moronic little voice.-

"You knew about me doing that? Why didn't you mention it before?" Asks Hiei. -Great she knows what I did. Hopefully she doesn't know it was her who I was dreaming about. . .But why was I dreaming about her in the first place? And I was looking at her chest. . .No I can't be falling for my best friend. Kurama always says how the people in ningen films fall in love with their best friends but does it happen in real life? _Of course it does. You're an example of it. You keep seeing everything you do with her as being a friend but everyone else knows it to be that you two like each other. _-

"I didn't mention it because I figured you'd get embarrassed and then my acting would become harder to do, so I said nothing." She replies.

"Hn, you are slightly more important because you know me better. But I can't read Yukina's mind, I can't read your mind either. It's out of respect that I don't. " He answers. -She knew and said nothing for my benefit. She does care a lot. . .or does she? _No shit Sherlock. Why wouldn't she care? You really are dumb._ Quiet.-

"Now that that's dealt with, let's go to my house and pick up some 'Tell all' potion. Hehe." She says with a mischievous grin. -Yeah! I'm more important that Yukina! But why should that matter? Crap I know I like Hiei as more than friend but how much more? And if he says I'm more important than his sister then does he likes me too? _Duh dumb ass! Now go and get closer! _But what if ends badly and he's no longer my friend afterwards/ I couldn't let that happen_._-

At that moment, Kira and Kurama walk in carrying a bag of herbs and plants. They don't even knock.

"Have either of you ever heard of knocking before entering?" Asks Talia annoyed. -Curse you sister. I wasn't finished talking to Hiei. At least I'll hook you up with Kurama and you'll leave me and Hiei alone-

"I'm terribly sorry but . . ." Explains Kurama before he was interrupted by the evil sister.

"Don't apologize to her. It's not like we walked in on them doing something. . . or were you two doing something?" Asks Kira with a perverted smirk.

"Sister what we do is none of your FUCKING business so SHUT UP you nosy RETARD!" Yells Talia.

"Um Talia we only came in to tell you that we have good news." Replies Kurama in a sweet innocent way. -Perfect this is my chance to end this little hoax.-

"Did you save a lot of money on car insurance by switching to Geico?" Asks Talia while smiling. -I'm such a dork. Wonder what that fox is up to. . .-

"….No, but we found all the herbs needed to make the Masking solution. We should be finished in three hours. Now Hiei can mark you and your mom wouldn't know." He says with a smile. -I've got them right where I want them. They're like trapped rabbits and I'm the fox. There's no way she can get a 'fake' bite mark. The only way is for it to be real.-

"Isn't that great sister? We'll be back later with potion." The evil sister says as her and Kurama leave the room.

". . . WE"LL SLAUGHTER THOSE TWO!" Says Hiei with gritted teeth. -Damn nosy fox. He keeps trying to expose us. . .I really starting to hate him and Kira right now.

"I agree. But now what? There's no such thing as a pretend bite mark. . . I've got it. I think I may have a plan to first delay the bite mark and then pretend I have one. . .hm but it requires a little more thought. And if we hook them up, they might be less watchful of us." Replies Talia. -I HATE MY SISTER AND KURAMA! THEY SHALL PAY FOR THIS! MAHAHAHA!!!-

They two nod in agreement and leave the temple to go to Talia's house. (But if their mates isn't it Hiei's house too?)

* * *

"Sorry it took so long to update. MY first three ideas for science fair got rejected but she finally accepted the fourth! Halluah-Frecking-nuah! Then I had to take the PSAT and Ugh, I'm so swamped with projects and tests I barely get to sleep. Life sucks."


	10. Getting Closer & Sweet Revenge

Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "Well I can finally update again. I've been really busy with school and shit. Life is totally crazy. Oh well that's how it goes."

Hiei: "No one really wants you to update. Just continue with your pathetic existence and LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Me: "Fuck off moron!"

Hiei: "I am not a moron and how exactly would I fuck off?"

Me: "Yes you are a moron but you're my moron. And to fuck off, get your little friend between your legs and . . ."

Hiei : "Onna I don't want to hear that! Nor do I want to know how you know that!"

Me: "Quit being so modest. You know you're really a little perv."

Hiei: "I am not a perverted moron! That's the detective's job!"

Me: "You are one of the Spirit Detectives, so isn't that your job too?"

Hiei: "You know that I refer to Yusuke as the 'detective' so quit being a smart ass."

Me: "My ass isn't smart or is it?"

Hiei: "Moron. There's just no winning with you is there?"

Me: "No." I smile.

* * *

Mazy lover: "Thanks for the compliments. Yeah well when you're mad, things slip. And how could Hiei get pissed when he's the one that started to sleep-fuck her? See what I meant was Talia was worried he'd freak out and stop being her friend. And stuff like that does happen. I lost a good guy friend because his other friend said we were an item, and he freaked out and we don't talk much anymore."

bowserjr: "I eat all the pudding. Pudding's good. . .Yum. I shall update due in part to pudding."

Jessica: "STOP USING THE SAME SHIT!!!"

Vashlover9: "Cool. Since I a girl I have someone that "loves" me. And you are a guy right? Cause a girl than that would be weird."

Shadow-Seeker-13: "Lovin it? Awesome."

Maboroshi Kaji: "That bites ass. All that work for nothing. Your teacher is as big a faggot as mine. I swear all teacher's handling science fair are gay retards. And Hiei and Talia will admit everything. . .maybe."

Princess Krystal01: "It will be funny."

Birdy06: Can't say what's gonna happen. I like my readers to be surprised."

Ryoki Hirousake: "That is how I used to do my homework. I would start on what's due first A.S.A.P. and I'd still be up till one! On average I honesty get about six hours of homework. I get off school at 3:15 but the teachers hold us and be the time I get in my car, it's 3:30. When I get home, it's 4:00. 4:00 6:0010:00 1:00 to eat dinner11:00 0:30 to shower 11:30 to study 1:30 to study 1:00 I go to a college prep school. so they treat us like college students but unlike college students we have eight full classes! Last night, I had 95 freckin' English problems and 50 math ones. Plus a test, quiz, and five page paper due the next day! It's crazy but it does prepare me for the real world. Great advice if I went to a normal school. I love to torture Hiei." I give an evil grin.

Sushi Girl: "People always say I'm devious. . .guess my writing is too. . .Cool. Thanks for thinking this is wonderful. Chao."

Night-Owl123: "I shall try to update soon."

Kay Hiei: "They are devious demons."

Metallia: "Those tow are mischievous. That thing was a typo. . . It should have said "Now Hiei can mark you and your mom wouldn't know." and a masking solution is a concept i made up. Basically, it's a potion that will hide certain demonic traits, such as a mark. A mark is actually a bite mark that one demon gives to his or her mate to claim them as their own."

Borris: "Thanks and trust me I know what it's like to be busy."

dragon katana: "Ok. . . someone needs help. But aren't we all just a bunch of fucking weirdos surfing the web escape homework and boredom? Hehe."

Hiei's fire dragon girl: "Scared with nightmares. . .Why? And I'm glad I've cleared up whatever it is I did. I remember reading about dreaming for sex somewhere. . .it is kinda weird. And the foxes do get a taste of their own medicine. Ja ne."

a person: "It will be interesting. I'm still alive so I guess I'm winning the war against homework, tests, and projects. And good luck with yours too!"

hiei'slover-hiei is mine-Arwen: "Hello to you too. I drool over Hiei, I dream about Hiei. . . he rocks. I love the geico line. It's so stupid and random, it's funny."

ojoserno: "Hopefully it will get better. Yep my teacher is one big bitch for such a small lady. I will update and thanks for the sugar. I won't let you die."

abby: "I will and thanks for the compliment."

Hiei-lonewolf: "No the fox will not win."

slancaster113: "But I love leaving cliffies. . . then you want to read more."

brittany dvorak: "I will update when and if I can. reviewed twice. . . must really want the update so ENJOY!"

Suntiger: "Thanks and I'll keep it up."

dark-side-nb: "I'll write more for sure."

Silvermane1: "Cool and thanks."

HIEISFavFangrl: "Ok fine, I'll update as fast as I can type!"

Bus Buddie: "I despise school and would drop out because I've been told I'm an excellent writer but my mom would freak out if I did. If I wanted to I could drop out right now and be a thnth grade drop-out. Cool."

Hidden Pagan: "Sorry but I haven't had the time to update lately." :' (

Bloody Cross: "Happy you liked my fic even though it had an OC. And is the 'Fuck the world da nana' a song?"

* * *

"Talking"

/Telepathy/

-Thoughts-

(Comments)

_The little voice inside your head._

* * *

Hiei and Talia exit the temple and go to Talia's house. They arrive there in fifteen minutes. She opens the door and the two step inside."

"Hiei go to the spare room and get the 'Tell all' potion I keep on hand." Says Talia.

"Hn." he replies as he goes and gets the potion. Her spare room contained all types of ingredients and bottled potions.

Talia meanwhile goes to her room and grabs some fresh clothes. She changes into a black mini skirt and a white tee-shirt that says "I RULE ALL. THOSE WHO OPPOSE ME DIE." She puts on some blue lipstick and matching eye shadow. Then she packs a small bag full of clothes, band-aids, and other odds and ends. Hiei comes in carrying a misty ice-white bottle. When he sees Talia, all of his naughty thoughts come back.

-She looks good. That outfit really complements her body. . .why am I thinking like this again? _Why must I repeat myself? Cause you like her you numbskull! Now go and be with her!_ Hn.-

"Ok so when we get back to the temple, we need to go to the kitchen and . . .Earth to Hiei. Come in Hiei!" Says Talia as she waves her hand in front of the memorized Jagashi. -Oh no he's thinking about me again, I think. Cause he's starring at me again. _He IS starring at you so he likes you and I know you like him back so grow up and go for it!_-

Hiei snaps back to reality and turns slightly red in the cheeks. Talia does the same and there was that awkward silence again.

"Uh as I was saying after we get back we should go to the kitchen and make some food and casually slip in the potion. It's tasteless and odorless so they won't know what we did. We'll should probably make some pasta cause it's my sister's favorite. She'll defiantly offer some to Kurama and then they will both say exactly what they are thinking and if I know my sister, she's thinking about what a cutie Kurama is." Replies Talia while grinning. -Revenge is sweet.-

"I like the idea but what about the bite mark?" Asks Hiei. -Wonder what she's thinking about now?-

"First I'm going to delay getting a bite mark by saying I want it to occur at the just the right moment. I'll say it can't be planned but must be romantic and spontaneous. Then when we pretend to have a moment, I know they'll be right there watching. We'll find them easily using your Jagan and then claim they ruined the moment. After that I'll pretend to be sick which will delay it even more. After that, I'll put a band-aid on my neck and say that because you're a fire dragon, your fangs were a little long so the mark is kinda tender, so I have to keep it covered for a while. By then I'll have come up with a convincing lie to magically disappear and never see your friends again. You can still come visit, but don't let my sister bring Kurama or we're back where we started." She answers like the professional liar she is. -I am good, real good.- (Hiei is half fire demon but they never say what kind so in my fic he's a fire dragon.)

"You are a fucking genius!" Exclaims Hiei. -Damn she's good. Wonder where she learned to lie like that? I've always seen her say clever things to fool others; maybe she's a natural liar. Works for me.-

"Thanks now let's leave and hope this works." Says Talia as the two half fire demons leave and return to Genkai's. When they enter, they are greeted by a smiling Yukina.

"Where have you two been? Oh well never mind, but Kurama and Kira made you two a lovely gift---some masking solution! Now you two can properly become mates." Exclaims the Koorime happily. -This is where it all ends. No more of this fake mate crap. I want Hiei to admit he's my brother now -and I mean NOW!-

"Thanks for informing us Yukina but right now I'm kinda tired so I'll go take a nap." Replies Talia while yawning. -Damn her! She wants to catch us but we're too smart for that.-

"Well pleasant dreams." Responds the little ice maiden. -Liar.-

Hiei and his mate are almost in Hiei's room, when Kira and Kurama come running up to them with a small red bottle.

"Hey sis, we got the potion. It was easy to make but I still learned a lot from Kurama. Here you go." Says Kira while handing her sister the bottle. -This is going to be fun to watch unfold. Wonder what will happen?-

"Thank you so muck Kurama and Kira but right now, I'm going to take a nap. Little tired and I've always wanted that moment to be special and spontaneous. Love isn't the same if it's planned so when the moment is there, I'll use the stuff. Till then, I'm just going to relax and enjoy what I've got." Says Talia with a smile. -I'll fix you up sister. All I need to do is slip this in your food and that's the end of that.-

"Hopeless romantic aren't you sister?" Asks Kira.

"Sigh, at least the guy I'm with doesn't play with flowers. Now goodbye." Replies Talia as her and Hiei enter the room and shut the door. -That outta shut her up.-

This leaves an uneasy silence between Kira and Kurama. They both blush and walk away slowly.

However this is quite the opposite reaction from our two fire apparitions. They are now lying down on the bed, laughing at Kira and Kurama.

"Hn dumbass's. That was fun but what about putting our potion in their food?" Asks the spiky haired dude.

"Easy, I smelled that Yukina was making stew and I know my sister likes stew. In about an hour, I'm going to help Yukina finish preparing it, and casually slip in the potion to Kurama's and Kira's bowels. Don't worry I have it all planned out. Your sister's really quite nice; she saved us from having to cook. But for now we nap to look like we were flirting." Says Talia.

So they lay down and Hiei wraps his arm around Talia's waist. She moves little bit and accidentally pokes him in the stomach. He thinks she' messing with him, so he pokes her back.

"Giggle Stop giggle that giggle Hiei! giggle You giggle know giggle I'm giggle ticklish! STOP IT!!! Giggle giggle giggle ahahhahahahah!" Screams Talia. -Curse Hiei, he knows my weakness.-

"Hn no, it's fun." Was all he said in reply. -She's always been ticklish. Dumb girl.-

She rolls over, and falls off the bed but not without taking Hiei down with her. They both fall and he lands on top of her.

"Hiei if I weren't kinda strong, I'd say for a little guy you weigh a ton. It must be all those muscles. . ." Says Talia before starring at Hiei's arm muscles. -Um warm. I love the warm. And muscles, they rock . . .Hiei is comfortable.-

Hiei meanwhile, looks at how they are positioned and turns red. He looks down and Talia's already short skirt has risen even higher and he can see the ends of some blue panties. He continues to gawk at her legs and slowly places his hand on her thigh. She smiles but then remembers that this is her best friend, not her best friend with benefits. She has to end this but can't because secretly this is what she wants more than anything. He grins mischievously and leans over, kissing her neck.

He affectionately puts his hands on her waist and holds her very close to him. She can feel his breath on her neck and that only makes this more enjoyable. No matter how much she and he tells them self to stop, they don't, they can't. Without realizing it, they had become so used to one another, that now they needed the touch of the other.

Things are just about to get good, when Kira and everyone comes running in. They heard a loud "STOP IT!!!" and a thud, so they thought something was wrong. They all just gape at the scene before them. They never imaged in a million years that Hiei, would be with some girl on the floor, with his one hand up her skirt and the other around her waist, kissing her neck. It took Talia about a minute to realize people were watching them, so she mentally half cursed them for ruining her moment and then half thanked them in case they accidentally went too far and it not mean anything.

". . . Please go away now before I KILL YOU!!!" She screams.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE ALL OF YOU DOING HERE!!!" Screams an angry, embarrassed Koorime.

Everyone eyes have swollen up O_O and they just stare. Finally Kurama manages to snap out of his confusion, mutters an apology, grabs everyone, and runs off. Hiei and Talia just lay there for a while, kinda dumbstruck.

-I don't know what to say to Hiei. I like him but what if it's still just demonic instinct? Damn. I think I'll tease him. If he goes for it, then it means something. If he freaks out like normal, I'll leave it at that and say I was only kidding.- "Um Hiei, are you comfy?" Asks Talia seductively.

"I Uh am uh. . ." says Hiei-What to say? I am comfy but I can't let her know that, can I? She did say it like she likes this, damn! I hate fucking emotions.- "Well I . . ."- Oh shit- "I Did like it ok! Happy?!" He says quickly while blushing. -_Oh someone has a wittle crush._ Shut it.-

". . .You did?" Talia manages to stammer out. He nods and his face is so red, he looks like he's on fire. "Then damn, my sister ruined it. We need to fix them up now before this happens again. I might not be ready to be your mate, but best friend with benefits sounds nice." She says with a smile. -Cool he does like me. Why didn't I listen to that little voice in my head? _Cause dearie, if_ _you did, you'd be considered crazy_ -

"Let's go put the stuff in their food and make them have awkward moments." He says.

They get up and walk to the kitchen. Talia sees Yukina cooking and offers to help. Yukina lets her, to keep up with the 'I'm so sweet act.' Talia serves the bowls and places them on the table. She sits down and asks Yukina if they'd mind sitting in a certain order so she could be next to Hiei and her sister. Yukina doesn't seem to care because she doesn't think Talia is up to anything. When the Koorime isn't looking, Talia casually slips in some of the 'Tell all potion' in the bowls meant for Kurama and Kira, and walks off.

Meanwhile:

Everyone was freaked out by what they saw happen between Hiei and his mate. She had to be his mate. He was feeling up on her and was actually smiling! And she looked like she liked it as well. The only two not believing this was Yukina and Kurama.

-I don't why but I don't believe that they love each other. She isn't his mate but then what is she gaining from pretending? This is complicated.- Thinks the sea-foam-green-haired Koorime.

-She can't be his mate. But he did seem to enjoying himself. I don't why I think she's faking, but my intuition has never failed me before.- Contemplates a clever Fox.

-Eeew. Shorty was really doing stuff with her! She' too hot for him. I'll have nightmares for weeks. I think my eyes were burning when I saw that.- Thinks the Idiot.

-Go Shorty. It's your birthday. We gonna party like it's your birthday. We gonna sip Bacardi like it's your birthday. Go go go shorty. Damn I wish Keiko would give me that type of action!- Imagines a dirty minded Detective.

-Whoa! What does she see in him? He's rude, mean, and way too quiet. My mom always warned me about the quiet ones.- Thinks Boton.

-Hiei with a girl. Didn't expect to see that. Oh well guess anything's possible.- Think Shizuru while smoking a cigarette.

-I think it's cute that he found somebody. He always seems so lonely and sad but with her he is happy. Hope this works out for the better but he still hasn't said he's Yukina's brother.- Ponders Keiko.

-Damn my sister was serious! She looked like she couldn't keep her hands off of him! Sparks are flying and I've got a front row seat!- Thinks Kira

After that, it was time to eat. Talia told Kira if she'd sit next to her so they could talk about stuff and naturally, Kurama sat next to Kira. Everything was going according to the naughty demons plan. Kira smells the soup and eats a big spoonful.

"This is delicous Yukina. I love stew." Exclaims Kira. -Aw Kurama eats so gracefully. It's cute.- "Aw Kurama eats so gracefully. It's cute" She says. -Oh my god, did I just say that out loud! I did! Shit! I'm such a moron!-

(They only say what they are thinking about the person they like after drinking the ' Tell all' potion. That's why she said the thing about Kurama's eating habits are cute but not the part about her being stupid for saying it.)

This causes Kurama to cough and then turn as red as his hair. "Thanks you for the compliment Kira." He says. -Did she mean that? I hope she did cause she's cute too.- Kurama then repeats his thoughts which cause everyone to stare at him. -I said that aloud! Why? Is there something wrong with me? Do I like her so much that I'm not thinking straight?!-

All throughout dinner more weird thoughts emerge from the two. By the end of it all, the two make a tomato look pale. Unknown to them was the fact that Hiei and Talia was trying their best to contain their laughter at the idiotic foxes. The foxes were too busy being embarrassed to think accurately and figure out that their food had been spiked.

/Looks like they'll be outta of hair for a long time. The potion worked out perfectly./ Says Hiei telepathically to his mate.

/That was hilarious. I want to laugh. Let's hurry and finish eating before we crack up. Sweet sweet revenge!/ She says to Hiei.

They finish eating, tell Yukina dinner was lovely, and head back to their room.

* * *

"And I end it there! I'm so bad but I don't care' I've way busy and sorry about the long wait but this week alone I have three quizzes Monday, two tests Tuesday, two quizzes and two tests Wednesday, I not sure about Thursday, And three tests and a lab Friday. That's a grand total of seven tests, five quizzes, and a lab in one week on top of four hours of homework I get a night. NEVER EVER let your mom talk you into going to an all-magnet school that offers college level courses. but toady was so FUN! I got to go to school dressed in my Halloween costume. I went as the Bride of Chucky! People said I looked so freaky. I could even do that slow head turn thing and it made people scream! It rocked! See I'm short and she was the only short, wicked girl I could think of but if only I had a Chucky to go with me!"


	11. Funny Nonsense & One Pissed off Mate

Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "Hello. I can actually update again! It's been so long and I've got the flu. I hate being sick. I had to miss two days of school and it's going to take forever to make everything up. Just about all my teacher's will want me to make up the hour and a half of class I missed and that's going to take awhile. I hate this."

Hiei: "Onna stop complaining. Just type your stupid story and shut-up."

Me: "You are so mean to me. Don't even care that I'm sick. . . you'll pay little man.

Hiei: "Oh no. Now what's she going to do to me?

Me: "Hope you like getting in trouble cause that's where you'll be!"

Hiei: "Damn."

* * *

Me: "And I got my first flame from cena!!! Evil person dissing my fic cause it has oc's! She said why make an oc when there's other girls in the show, but could any of you see the original cast members not caring if Hiei told the truth? They'd all want him to confess, so it wouldn't really work the way I had planned. Plus by the end of this fic and the sequel, every girl and guy will be taken. And to do that I need two more girls so in come Talia and Kira. Thought about pairing off Kurama and Hiei but I've never really saw them as anything more than friends but hey I don't mind yaio's, I just didn't feel like writing one. Besides the whole point of this web site is to write what you want, no matter how crazy or perverted or anything. So cena mind your own damn business and don't call me a whore because I'm a hoe! Hoe's like myself get paid; whore's like you don't cause you're free and easy!!! Hehe."

Chow-Chow Binks: "For some odd reason, cruel things are very funny."

Night Owl 123: "I'll try to update" : )

Monk12: "Thanks and hope you read the entire thing."

hiei'slover-hiei is mine-Arwen: "A close friend of mine and I always fight over Hiei and here's My response to you "MINE and mine alone! Go get your own!" I say in childish voice.

Hiei: "You have serious possessive issues."

---Toodles: You even evil-er little friend."

Shadow-Seeker-13: "Addicted? Cool it's like a drug without the side effects. . .hopefully."

a person: "If that ever happened in real life, I'd die of embarrassment. Everyone knowing my thoughts would be humiliating!"

Jessica (Jess-Scarpio): "How many times do I have to tell you to get some new material?!"

Hiei-lonewolf: "Glad you liked my costume, it was wicked awesome!"

Jessica or Toki (sanohiei25): "If Hiei were real and I was on the floor with him. . . YAY! Hope you like Yukina's punishment. . .but it's in chapter twelve."

nappyhaed: "Sweet you loved it. I'll continue."

rose(squiggle): "Someone's really addicted to this fic. I love humor and romance too. . . notice how you always remember the stupid funny things people do an that relationships seem to last longer when there's humor involved? That's why I write romance/humor fics."

Leamarie F. Rocket: "Thanks."

dark-side-nb: "Being the bride of Chucky was awesome. A trash bag full of candy. . . Yum! Glad you like Talia. BYE!"

HIEISfavFANgrl: "Don't worry this WILL get finished if it's the last thing I do! There's even going to be a sequel."

Molly: "I'll add more so you can turn the : ( into a : ) You are super addicted to this. . .you reviewed a lot. Glad you and your cousin like this."

cena: "I'm going to use all the other girls. . .they'll be paired with guys from the show. . .and I didn't want to put Hiei with Kurama. So I needed oc's! BITCH!"

Amari Koorime: "Revenge is sweet and there will ne more. Bye."

PrincessKrystal01: "Yeah fireworks and more to come. . ."

Vashlover9: "Yeah I was really busy. . .sorry it took forever. Anyway loved your fic and loved the thign with the whip cream. . .see I read your fic before i read your review so I assumed you borrowed the idea but wasn't sure. Sometimes people think a lot alike. Good job being a perv--I'm one as well--my closest friends call Icky Vicky cause of it and my name. Glad your getting into this. "

dragonkatana: "I confuse myself too. . . and revenge is awesomely sweet."

Silvermane1: Thanks for thinking this is funny."

* * *

"Talking"

/Telepathy/

-Thoughts-

(Comments)

_The little voice inside your head_

* * *

Hiei and Talia enter Hiei's room and right after he shuts the door, they burst out laughing.

"There are such fools. They didn't even bother to think that maybe someone did something to their drinks! Baka's." He says with a smirk.

"Ah the satisfying taste of sweet victory." She replies with a smile. -I got those two out of the way but there's till Yukina. I know Hiei won't help me so, I'll have to work alone.-

"So now that their busy, we can relax. I'm going to go take a shower, why don't you sleep or something." He says as he walks to the restroom with some fresh clothes and a towel.

-Silly guy. Hm, a nap sounds good, but I think I'll get Yukina to mind her own business instead.- "I think I'll go talk to my sister." She answers.

Hiei goes and takes a bath while Talia leaves the room and casually walks to the living room, where everyone except for the two foxes are watching tv. She sits down on the couch next to Kuwabara.

"Hey Kuwabara, what are you watching?" Talia asks with interest. -This guy seems nice and I'm lucky he's not very bright.-

"Uh, Inu Yasha." He answers. -Why is shortie's girl talking to me? Shouldn't she hate me? Yukina told me she was only pretending to be Hiei's mate and was nothing but trouble but earlier she looked liked she was having fun with him on the floor. EEEEW! Shorty and a girl! I still can't get that image out of my mind. But she can't be all that bad cause sometimes even Hiei is sorta nice and she can't be worse than him? Right? Plus she seems nice.-

"Oh I've always liked Inu Yasha. My favorite character is Sessohmaru. Whose your fav?" She asks while looking at the TV screen. -This is going to be too easy.-

"Um, I like Shippo cause he's so sweet and naive, like Yukina. I also like Ke-la-la(I probably didn't spell the name right but for all you Inu Yasha lovers out there, you know I mean Sango's pet demon who resembles a cross between a cat and a fox.) cause she looks like a kitty."

"I think Shippo is so cute! So, how long have you known Hiei?" She asks. -Phase one: Get oaf to trust me. Phase two: Get him to talk about his friends then to Yukina. Phase three: Get him and Yukina in a deeper relationship very soon and pray that keeps that nosy girl out of our business.-

"Uh ever since Maze Castle. . . so about two years. Why do you ask? The dummy wonders. -She's up to something but what?-

"Hiei never really spoke of all of guys until he came and got me, so I'm just curious. I already asked him a lot of stuff but he's taking a shower and it's rude to bombard one person with so many questions." She answers smoothly.

"Oh. So must really like him, huh?" He says.

"Yes I do. We were best friends but after so long we became more than friends and that lead to us being mates. What about you? Do you have anyone you like?" She says in a dreamy way. -This is even easier than I thought it would be.-

"I love my darling Yukina!" He shouts while standing up and then proceeding to fall down on his ass.

"Shesh baby bro. Can't you stop being an idiot for at least for a minute?" Says Shizuru while sighing. (Note that only Kuwabara has heard the things Talia has been saying to him. The others really aren't paying attention.)

Kuwabara stands back up and yells "I'm not an idiot!" He then sits back down and mutters "Stupid sister thinking she knows it all."

Talia giggles and says "Don't worry I'm sure Yukina doesn't think you're an idiot. And just out of curiosity, how far have you gotten with Yukina?"

"Well we've um ...Why do you want to know anyway?" He asks baffled.

"I kinda see how almost everyone here has someone and I want to know the extent of everyone's relationships. We have Kira and Kurama, Yusuke and Keiko, You and Yukina, and Hiei and myself. I figured that since you all knew of Hiei's and my relationship I should know about yours." Talia answers smartly. -Lying---the only skill you need to survive in today's world. It can get you out of any jam and it makes life less complicated. YAY for lying.-

"Well we love each other and . . . she has kissed me and I hold her hand and we go to places together. She is sweet and she doesn't think I'm stupid. . .She's an angel." He says with hearts around him.-Yeah an angel related to the devil. But no matter what I shall be with my Yukina!-

"Cool well nice talking to you but I think Hiei is done showering now and I'm in the mood for a nice long bath. Bye Kuwabara." She says as she walks away. -Ok now I know about how far those two have gone so now to get them to deepen relationship and hopefully Yukina will forget about Hiei and myself.-

(Note: Talia still thinks Yukina wants Hiei to be her mate and isn't even thinking this is some type of scam to get Hiei to tell the truth.)

Talia goes to her and Hiei's room and without thinking just opens the door. But ironically Hiei has forgotten his boxers so he, forgetting about Talia, leaves the restroom nude and as he's looking through his dresser for some boxers, Talia opens the door. She looks up and is about to say "Hiya Hiei" when she notices he's naked. Her eyes swell up and she just stares at the naked Jagashi. Without even thinking about anyone or anything, she shouts at the top of her lungs "CAPTAIN NUDEY PANTS!!!"

Hiei freaks out, turns bright red, and momentarily freezes. Well he freezes until he hears the running footsteps of everyone else in the dojo. Apparently they heard the scream and were coming to check it out. (Who wouldn't come after hearing the phrase Captain Nudey Pants?)

Freaked out at the thought of being seen naked by everyone, Hiei grabs a sheet off the bed and quickly wraps himself in it. But Talia is still frozen with her eyes popping out and her face is all red. Hiei grabs her and tries to get her to snap out of it but he falls down cause of the blanket, and in come every nosy loser in the house.

All they see is Hiei in a blanket on the floor with Talia, who is frozen and all red. Finally in an attempt to break the silence, Hiei says "What are you all doing here?"-PLEASE for all that is sane GO AWAY! I naked and it's none of their damn business. How could this get any worse?-

(Don't people know never to ask how could this get any worse-- cause immediately after it does get WORSE?)

And as soon as he thought that, Talia burst into a fit of the giggles.-I saw Hiei naked. . .great body but oh my freckin god I wasn't supposed to see that! This is sooo embarrassing. . . wonder how Hiei is taking it? Damn he's hot! After what happened with his sleep-fuck incident and this, I have proof that little guys are big when it comes to what's important. Oh shit, now I'm a horny slut! And when I saw him naked standing there, paralyzed by embarrassment, I thought of that time when we were kids and I dared him to run around my house naked and yell "I am Captain Nudey Pants!!! I scare off all with my amazing nakedness!"

(Case you're curious, she told him "Are you afraid to do a little dare?" to coax him into going along with it.)

"Hiei what is wrong with my sister?" Kira asks. -What the hell is going on?-

"Long story short um uh nothing's wrong she just um crap." The fire demon tries to explain but is at a loss for words. -What do I say? I can't say I'm naked and she saw me because they think she's my mate so why would we care? Damn.-

"Hiei we heard a scream ant it sounded like Captain something pants. What was that all about?" Questions the sly fox. -He's hiding something and it might be the key to ending this fake mate shit.-

". . .Talia is fine and about the screaming well. . ." He replies.

At that very moment, Talia stops laughing and says "I'm shouted because. . .hahahahahaha!!! He was standing there. . ." She says as Hiei covers her mouth up.

"Just ignore her and go away now or else." Hiei says in a monotone. With that said they all leave, someone closes the door, but they are all very curious as to what happened.

-God that was close! Why is she laughing. . .that was not funny. She saw me naked. Shouldn't she be embarrassed or at least anything but laughing? Wait I'm naked and she's on top of me . . ." Thinks the half Koorime.

Talia recovers from her fit and removes Hiei's hand from her mouth. "Sorry Hiei but no matter how wrong that was, it was funny. It was so random and it was the return of Captain Nudey Pants! I had to laugh no matter how embarrassing it was. . .Hiei why are you all quiet?" -Wait a sec, he's still naked and the only thing covering him up is that thin blanket. . .no wonder he's quiet. I know I wanted to be his best friend with benefits but this is kinda fast.-

Poor Hiei, he now is having more dirty thoughts. His conscience (It's not really a good conscience--it more or less just wants Hiei to have someone to be with so it is good in a way but it's also perverted) then sends Hiei some very naughty thoughts about him and Talia and it begins again. Hiei gets a hungry look in his eyes and the main course is Talia. He leans up and begins to kiss her neck. Then he lifts her up and carries her to the bed, placing her down gently. He hops in the bed and wraps himself around Talia, holding her as if he was a little kid and she was his teddy bear. He was getting comfy, when Kurama knocks and comes in.

"Hiei I'm terribly sorry for bothering you but I am concerned about what happened earlier and I want to know what happened. I swear I won't say a word to anyone."He says. -My kitsune instincts make me highly curious. I have to know what she was laughing about and why she screamed.-

At this Hiei's demon side causes him to growl at Kurama. "Kurama now is really not the time to be bugging Hiei. He's not himself and I think you should go. . .you kinda just ruined our moment for the third time today. See if you won't say anything we were planning to fully become mates but every time we get a chance to and the moment's right, someone interrupts us. So since you ruined it, could you at least leave? I'm sure Hiei will tell you everything tomorrow. Goodnight and please tell my sister and everyone else that they can quit trying to listen from behind the door, it's rude. And I don't won't to catch everyone in my room when I wake up." Says Talia while everyone emerges form behind the door. Apparently after Hiei told them to leave, they just hide outside the door, hoping to hear any juicy details about what happened.

"Hehe. Guess we're not very sneaky huh?" Says a mischievous smiling Yusuke. -How did she know we were there?-

"Quite alright, but why were you there?"Asks the suspicious fire chick.

"We are kinda nosy. It's just plain old curiosity." Exclaims Boton while she does that cat-like face and meows.-

"You do know that Curiosity killed the cat?" Remarks Talia with a malicious grin. She gets up and the look in her eyes spells murder. -They messed up my fun for the last time! Who knew anyone could be this nosy, let alone a whole group of people! I shall have to teach them a valuable lesson in learning when to keep their big noses out of other people's business.-

"Sister I know that look! You don't want to hurt us do you? You're just a little upset and that's perfectly understandable but please don't do anything you'll regret later." Says Kira. -Oh god she's pissed. We are dead and tonight she's playing the role of the grim reaper. I should've remembered, my sister is half dragon and it's never wise to disturb a dragon. Plus, she's also part viper, and man can they bite!-

(Forgot to tell you exactly what Talia was earlier, she's half dragon and half viper demon. There is a reason for this and it will make sense much much later. And Kira is half kitsune and half wolf.)

"Oh I won't regret what I'm about to do. . .I really don't have a conscience anymore. . .why do you think a cold killer like Hiei and I get along so well, that we're mates?" The viper girl exclaims with blood red eyes. She runs forward and in an instant, everyone in the room is paralyzed. Talia has the ability to produce a mist from the poison in her fangs which paralyzes her opponents.

"At the moment you are all at my mercy so I suggest you play nice. Now I'm only warning you guys ONE LAST FUCKING TIME: LEAVE ME AND HIEI ALONE!!! IF WE FEEL LIKE TELLING STUFF, THEN WE WILL, IF NOT WE WON'T. SO GO OR I'LL PERSONALLY MAKE SURE YOU TOO INDISPOSED TO BE SUCH NOSY SNOOPS EVER AGAIN!!! CAPSHISE?!" She yells as flames seem to surround her. -How Damn nosy can a few people be?! I get no peace! I know we are faking this whole thing but now I see him as more than a friend. I don't want to go too fast but I sure as hell don't like the way everyone comes in and and UGH!!! Can't they get a life?!!! At least this will make having a reason to dislike them and leave much easier.-

At that everyone's eyes heave swollen up **O_O **and they dash out of the room, slamming the door shut.

". . . THAT was DEFIANTLY Hiei's mate!!! Only the girl Hiei would pick as his bride could give me such a damn heart attack! !!" Says a shaken Kuwabara while holding his chest to stop his scared heart from jumping out of his chest.

"For once, you are actually right baby bro." Replies his sister, as she tries to catch her breath.

"We should NOT EVER go in there again. No matter how much I want to see Hiei try and make it with a girl or no matter how hot the girl is, I am NEVER going to go in that room without knocking again. I don't know about the rest of you, but I've died once and it sucked." Remarks the detective.

"I never knew anyone could be so mean and scary." Says the Koorime. -She looked like she wanted to kill us. . .but brother wouldn't let her do that right?-

"Oh don't worry my love muffin, I shall protect you from shorties evil girlfriend!!" Shouts Yukina's so-called knight in shining armor.

"And who will protect you from Talia?" Questions Kurama. -That girl is scarier than Keiko when she's slapping the shit out of Yusuke! She makes every girl I've ever known, ever the crazy physco ones, seem like a saint. But it probably takes quite a girl to keep Hiei in line. . . maybe she really is his mate. She sleeps next to him, she was making out with him, and we keep catching the two in very intimate positions. Maybe for my safety, I should drop it and leave those two alone.-

"Idiot. You never think things through do you?" Says Shizuru as she beats Kuwabara to a bloody pulp. -Those two have to mates. If they aren't, I'll quit smoking.-

"Don't worry sister always gets like this around her time of the month. It will all pass in a few days and she'll be normal again. Well as normal as she ever was anyway." Answers Kira. -I hope she was on her period and this isn't some crazy new personality quirk she's developed.-

Right after Kira says stat, they hear in a snake-like whisper, "Sister I AM NOT PMS-ING!!! You are really fucking annoying. God are you that damn retarded that you've abstinently minded forgotten that you are right outside my door and I can hear every little word you say?!"

"Hehe. I forgot. We'll just be going now. . ."Says Kira as they all run to their rooms.

"Finally now I can get some sleep. God damn nosy bastards." Talia says sleepily while yawning as she closes the door and walks to the bed.

* * *

"And thus concludes another chapter. I made it kinda long due to the long wait. Bye and review. Please remember that I use all flames to burn those who flame me without reason. So burn cena burn!!! !!!!!!! And so you probably guessed I'm crazy."


	12. Multiple Couplings and Flirtyness

Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "So so sorry! I so so busy. First my computer breaks and I can't use it for shit and then I get homework over the holidays! Stupid teachers and stupid damn computer!"

Hiei: "Onna what have I said about blaming everything else for your problems?"

Me: "Shut-up. You can't even face your problems! Instead of telling the truth in this fic you don't. You pretend to have a mate to avoid your problems. So WHO the HELL are you to tell me that Shit?!"

Hiei: " . . .??? Bye."He says as he runs off.

* * *

HIEISfavFANgrl: "Thanks for Luving it."

bowserjr: "Glad you liked the make-out scene. There will defiantly be more. And yes cena is a total bitch who should rot in hell for all I care. Thanks for supporting me and if you seriously want to, you can be my #1 fan."

Thia: "Thanks and I try to make Hiei's actions seem believable. Cena is just one of those unhappy with everything people. But hey everyone else loves it and glad you like Talia."

a person: "I try and update but life is crazy and unpredictable. . .just the way I like it."

Maboroshi Kaji: "Thanks for the tip, I was working on doing that anyway. And they are a little nosy but it's because Hiei brought home a girl and they never saw Hiei as the type, so they're all a little too curious."

Night-Owl123: "Thanks for the compliments and I'll try to update sooner."

PrincessKrystal01: "Captain Nudey Pants Kicks major ass. And sometimes I burst out laughing and my parents think I'm crazy, which is true but they're not supposed to say anything." : )

Jessica Flores aka Jesse: 'Talia won't kill anyone and I hope this chapter is good but it's short. Next one will be funny though for sure."

Jessica ): "Thanks but use a different reply please."

slancaster: "Thanks I do feel better and I forgot the cliffie! Shoot! But I am crazy!" : )

Tweetyboo: "Glad you really like it. Update A.S.A.P."

Shadow-Seeker-13: "Sesshy is one of my fav's after Hiei. DUH I'm HIEI"S jaded dragon. And for all those flamers. . .BURN! DIE! ROT! MAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

kanamey: ""I thank you for saying this is funny and are sure cena doesn't have an even bigger pole shoved up there? Hehe. Everyone seemed to hate her and love the Capt. Nudey pants thing."

Silvermane1: "Thanks for the compliment."

Borris: 'Thanks.

icedragongurl15: "Talia might hurt them . . .and here's chapter twelve."

Lil KaWaIi AzN PrInCeSs: "Thanks and there will be more of that hot fire demon."

Hiei-lonewolf: "Happy you were entertained but this chapter is short. Sorry."

Vashlover9: "You're a big perv to? Cool cause all my close friends are too. Sorry about the long wait but i don't like to leave a chapter explaining why I can't update. That just gets the readers hopes up before discovering it's just an excuse page. Besides my computer wouldn't work right, so there was nothing I could do."

Birdy06: 'Thanks and I'll update whenever I can."

Hiei's fire dragon girl: "I know what you mean about them 'nightmares' and glad you think this is awesome. And I'm a little psycho as well."

foxfire02: "They will get a break eventually but for now funny randomness."

hiei'slover-hiei is mine-Arwen: "How about we share Hiei. ..You get him for three days, I get him for three days, and on Sunday he gets a break from us and tries to escape?"

SlIvErWoLf12345: "Cheese is yummy and Hiei and oc pairings rock. None of the original cast seems to go with him."

Hiei'slover-9: "Thanks for saying that. My mom disses this and so does my brother."

Dark Dragon King: "Thanks for loving it and I'll so continue."

Bus Buddie: "Fangs are bad ass. I had small ones kinda before my dentist fixed them. That sucked ass majorly. And thanks for helping with revenge on cena. And I love that game."

* * *

"Talking"

-Thoughts-

/Telepathy/

(Comments)

_The little voice inside your head._

* * *

Talia walks over and lays down next to Hiei, falling asleep almost instantly and they have both forgotten that Hiei is STILL naked. He cuddles next to her and in minutes they are sleeping soundly.

After Talia's little outburst, everyone had ran off into their own room. Well Keiko went with Yusuke and Shizure and Boton went to the guest room, agreeing to share it for tonight. However, Kira didn't have a room, so she followed Kurama. They ran quickly and Kurama locked his door (Maybe he has dirty plans, maybe not. I'm not telling ). They fall down at the base of his door and try to catch their breath.

"That. . . was. . .way. . .to. . .close." She says in between breathing heavily.

"Yeah, she's quite scary when angered. No wonder Hiei's with her." Kurama then stands up and walks over to his bed.

"Usually she's pretty nice but when she's pissed off, watch out. But if we leave her alone for the rest of the night she outta cool off." Kira replies and walks over to the redhead.

Then there was that long awkward silence that seems to drag on for eternity. They were both thinking about how they unwisely blurted out their thoughts at dinner. Finally they both said "Did you mean what you said at dinner? Yes!" Immediately following that action, they clapped their hands over their mouths, completely embarrassed and proceeded to blush furiously.

Then there was more of that creepy silence. Getting nervous, fox boy decided to start up the conversation once more. "So you meant every word of it?" Kira nods and turns an even deeper shade of red. "I did too but. . .didn't it feel like you were speaking aloud your own thoughts?" He asks. -It was strange. Why did I repeat my thoughts about her only? Why not anything else? Do I like her that much already or is it something else? I've never lost my cool before, why start now? Something doesn't add up but I can't put my finger on it.-

"Yeah it did. It felt like I had no control over my thoughts. Every thought I had about you was somehow said. But why only my thoughts on you? And the worst part was everyone was looking at me like I was crazy. And I could've sworn I saw my sister trying not to laugh . . ."She says as she puts two and two together.

"She did something! Only someone as sneaky as her could manage to pull something like that off right under our noses! She is the most EVIL, DESPICABLE sister in the world!!!" -OOH! I could kill her! How could she make me look so damn stupid?! I'm going to her right now and kicking her ass!!! _Chill. If you do go, she'll kick your ass. She helped you anyway, so you should be thanking her. _What the hell are you blabbering about? _Your sister got you to tell your true feelings for Kurama. Without whatever it was she did, you might have never got the chance to tell him this. And even of you would've told him evntually, it would have took too long. Talia speed things up. Plus you deserved it for letting everyone see Hiei unconsciously lick her boobs. Talk about embarrassing. You of all people should know that your sister believes in getting even. Clam down and enjoy the effects of her plan. So don't worry. Be happy. Be happy now._- Her conscience sings.

Kurama is thinking along the same lines also. -If Talia had a part in this, then so did Hiei. He made me look like a fool, a horny, I just met a girl but want to do stuff anyway, fool. He will pay. _Whoa calm down you psychopath. Hiei helped you, don't go and fuck with him. First of all he kinda owes you for all those times you messed up his chance to screw his woman. We both know how much it sucks to get interrupted or caught in the act, so just leave shorty alone. And secondly, he got you to say all the stuff you were too embarrassed to say. _Hm, never thought about it like that. . .guess I should thank him.-

"Hey Kurama, why don't we forget about what those elfs did and relax for a change?" She asks and then sits next to him.

"Sure. But one thing puzzles me. . .how did your sister do that to us? Did she put a spell on us, did she sprinkle some magical dust on us, or did she put something in our food?"

"She is good with spells and magical powder but she is also fast enough to slip something in our food, so who knows. Sister has always been a crafty liar, who can easily pretend to be or do anything. It's a gift for her, pain for all those who get in her way. That's why she doesn't need to be strong to beat people. She can make you believe anything, even if you know it to be a lie. It makes her and Hiei a very compatible team, not to mention hard to beat. But enough about them, let's just go to sleep, I'm tired. So can I stay in here?" She smiles sweetly.

"Of course you may. I do have a king sized bed so we should easily fit."He says before he opens his dresser and takes out some clothes. "Why don't you change into this shirt and shorts? It would be very uncomfortable to sleep in your other clothes. You could go into the bathroom right next door to my room."

"Thanks but I don't want to go out there, I'll change in here if you'll turn around." She turns around and pulls off her shirt while Kurama does the same. But because she's sitting in front on the mirror on his dresser, she can see him. -He's got one hell of a body. . .all that fighting has really made him muscular. I have got to stop looking, oh hell what am I saying?! I should keep looking, he's hot. _That's the spirit. Go have fun! Being a horny Kitsune rocks!_-

They change and lay down in the fox's bed. It was late so in a short time both were asleep. But mysteriously, Kira was lying right next to Kurama and Kurama had his arms around her.

Meanwhile, the others were sleeping as well. Most of them were alone but Keiko was with Yusuke and we all know what type of guy Yusuke is (Ok if you can't figure out what's about to happen, you're plain stupid. And if you don't like that type of thing, quit reading cause you suck ass).

"Yusuke. . .that. . .was. . .scary. . .Who. ..knew. . .she. . .could. . .be. . .that. . .mean." Says Keiko, while trying to catch her breath. But as she does this, her chest falls and rises a lot. And of course, Yusuke is looking with interest.

-Nice set of melons Keiko's got there. And they keep going up and down and up and down....-He thinks before starting to drool.

"Yusuke what are you starring at? And why are you drooling?" Asks Keiko when she notices that Yusuke is gawking at her in a hungry manner. -Oh my, he's watching my chest rise! What a pervert! He hasn't grown up a bit since we were kids. Oh well, at least I know that this is his way of saying he likes me.-

"You sure filled out nicely, didn't you? Guess there's a god after all." -Yeah and for once he's on my side. I've got a girlfriend, who has a nice rack, and I'm all alone with her. . .I'm so damn lucky!-

"You jerk!" She yells, prepares to slap him, Yusuke gets ready for the hit, but she stops and smiles. "I should hit you but you simple mind only knows how to be perverted. Plus can't mess up your face too bad or then I couldn't do this." She says before she leans in and kisses him. -See how he likes me being the aggressive one for once.-

Yusuke is too shocked to do anything for a few seconds but after realizing what's going on, he deepens the kiss. For once things were looking up for the detective, no missions, no one telling him what to do, and he had his girlfriend with him alone. One word describes this situation: Sweet. He picked Keiko up and laid her down on his bed. They made out for a long time before falling asleep.

And in thirty minutes, everyone else in the house was sleeping soundly. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

* * *

"I know it's short and not that great but it's all I can do right now. I'll update soon. Bye."


	13. Becoming Mates For Real

Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "Well Happy flipping New Years for all of those who celebrate it. Life is totally crazy but this New Years sucks. . .I'm at home doing nothing but listing to a music countdown, eating till I puke, and sipping Champagne and DR. Pepper. It actually tastes pretty good. Case you're curious, if your parent allows it, you can drink whatever the fuck you want and since my mom left me at home, she felt bad and is letting me have some. She knows that kids get into stuff and would rather have me build up me alcohol tolerance now before I hit college and get taken advantage of 'cause I can't retain anything. Sometimes, she's awesome. Anyway I'm trying to update soon so here it is."

Hiei: "Onna you are beyond weird and that's saying something coming from me."

Me: "Hiei, we all know you have problems but we're not here to discuss them. But I do have a friend, well I guess since he reviews, I could sorta call him my friend. . .oh whatever. Anyway he wrote a humorous, really perverted story but only got like 12 reviews so if you all like perverted humor you might want to check out: Everlasting Mission by Vashlover9."

Hiei: "The poor soul will probably think you're weird for doing that."

Me: "I know I'm weird but I seriously don't care. However you don't like people pointing out that you're vertically challenged. . ."

Hiei: "ONNA SHUT UP!!! You're shorter than me!"

Me: "But I don't care, so why don't you do the disclaimer and I'll be quiet . . . for a while at least."

Hiei: "This idiot of a girl owns shit except Talia, Kira, and this crazy plot. So if you were to sue, I'd be coming after you. ." He takes out his sword and slices a desk in half. Then he destroys my room.

Me: "Hiei you have some serious problems. But now I have a reason why my room is so messy. Yeah! Thank you Hiei."

Hiei: Continues to destroy my room.

* * *

bowserjr: "Glad that made you happy and you think this was sweet. By the way, I love Keiko/Yusuke pairings.

Sumiko Minamino: "I'll check out your fic when I can. And I would kill to be Talia or Kira. The guys they're with are hot. If only they were real."

HIEISfavFANgrl: "I'll update soon hopefully."

Summoner-of-the-Silver-Wolf: "Glad your glad. I'll update soon. . .hopefully."

Tweetyboo: "Thanks. I'll update A.S.A.P."

Toki: "I wish I were her too. And I love Yusuke's pervertness."

Hoshimare: "I love being perverted so writing this fic makes me happy. Ususally I can't write like this… my mom would freak and my teahcres would get pissed off. I love . . well as long as they're not deleting fics."

sunshine14586: "Thanks for telling me the name of her pet. Tlaia does speed up the relationship. . .very soon."

Chow-Chow Binks: "Shizuru does get a boyfriend but in the sequel. But I won't tell you who. And Hiei and Talia were trying to be as convincing as possible, so the others kinda believe them to be telling the truth."

KivaJagashi: "Thanks and I'll try to update A.S.A.P."

mistress of the keys: "Thank you and Happy B-day."

napha: "Since you said please. . .here's more."

Metallica: "I love their music and you love this fic. Yay!"

Hiei's fire dragon girl: "Short and quick updates beat long and slow ones. Spending all that time with Yusuke has caused some of his pervertness to rub off on Keiko. are so lucky to get an electric guitar."

Dark Dragon King: "I try to focus on all the characters, key word being 'try' but it's kinda hard since this fic is mainly about Hiei."

Silvermane1: "Thanks"

Hiei-lonewolf: "The detective is and forever shall be a baka. Sorry about the shortness."

Maboroshi Kaji: "I love that ending and it tied in great with the holidays."

Nayami-Zetsumei: "Thanks for saying that since everyone one I know says this is a waste of time."

YerAverageKuramaFangirl: "Sorry about the type-o's but I'm usually in a rush to type this---my mom hates me doing it---and I forget to use the spell check. And thanks for the compliment, it lifted my spirits, especiallly since my English teacher says I'm an idiot. But I'm not, she's just evil.

Shadow-Seeker-13: "This chapter is all about Hiei."

Amanra: "Yukina is a younger sibling, allof them are evil, I know mine those guys grab your ass, grab theors back. . .it freaks them out. Or kick their ass for touching yours. Oh and Hiei is MINE. I have him locked up in my closet. Mahahahhahahahahahahhahahah!!!"

Nasi Youkai: "Glad you likey. Me update when me can."

Botan aka Kayko15: "You and everyone like this. . .cool. Sorry but I can't tell you if anyone ever figures out the truth or not but I hope you enjoy reading about the way it turns out."

Dragonkatana980: "I can't spell good either. Sorry about the long waits but I'v had finals, holidays, tons of projects, and my mom had forbidden me to update so I'm doing it when she's not home and its so hard not to get caught. She hates anime and thinks its stupid so whne she found out I write fics based on amine. . . it didn't go so well. So now updates are slow."

Goddess-Sango: "I won't hurt Kurama. . .too much. Captain Nudey Pants was one of my funniest moments---it really happened with an idiot friend of mine---and I still laugh today."

* * *

"Talking"

-Thoughts-

/Telepathy/

(Comments)

_The little voice inside your head_

* * *

It was about seven in the morning when Talia woke up to find herself in her clothes from yesterday and laying down next to something very warm. She was quite comfortable and didn't feel like getting up but a growl from her stomach made her move.

-Hm, . . . I remember yelling at my sister and I guess I laid down again. Where's Hiei? Oh he's behind me. . .whatever. Better wake him up too. Hm, but he looks so sweet while sleeping.- She leans over and stares at him for a while but the starring causes him to jolt awake. He could feel her eyes on him. It was creepy enough to cause Hiei to fall off the bed and unwrap the covers he was wrapped up in. But of course, he was Still naked from last night (no matter how you say that, it doesn't sound right) and as soon as those covers unrolled . . .Talia got another full view of Hiei's naked glory. But Hiei is only half awake so he's not aware that he's in the nude.

-I saw him naked twice in the last 24 hours! Sheesh does he have to look so good without clothes on? I want to keep looking and I do like him, he even said he wanted to be more than friends but this. . .oh hell I am so lame. I like him, he likes me, I trust him more than anyone and I flip-out when I see him naked! Boy get some clothes on. . .wait he fell asleep naked so he's still naked. I'm soo dumb for not making him get some damn clothes on last night. He let his demonic side take over, he couldn't think enough to put something on but that damn blanket. Maybe I should tease him for falling asleep as Captain Nudey Pants. Yeah and I could make everything sound nasty! Hehe.- She thinks mischievously. "Hey Hiei, do you like the breeze your getting right now. It's the sort of 'sensation' you can only feel when you become . . ." she pauses and whispers sexily into his ear "Captain Nudey Pants."

At this Hiei looks down and notices he's in his birthday suit. -Shit! I let my demon side take over before I fell asleep. That explains why I'm naked. . .but why did she just flirt with me and why is she looking at me? I'm naked, look the other away! _Must I remind you every day that she likes you! If she thinks this is funny, go with it! This is the second time she's seen you naked and the only thing you've seen is her in lingerie. You're a freckin' dumbass! _No one asked for your opinion. I can handle this without you trying to control me. Now if you don't mind, since she's playing with me, I'm going to play with her. _That's just your way of saying I was right. _Shut-it.- "Yes Talia I love the 'sensation' I get while in the nude. I love it so much I think I'll play the role of the 'Captain' for the time being." He says with a smirk. -Ha take that onna. You love messin with me, see how you like being messed with back. You're not the only one who can be flirty . . .did I just say I know how to be flirty? I must be going insane. _Yes you are quiet the mad little fellow. That might explain why you talk to yourself. _I do not talk to myself. _Yes you do. I am part of you and your talking to me right now. So technically, you do talk to yourself. _Didn't I tell you to shut up?-

-Meep. Is he serious?! No, he's just playing cause I flirted with him. I'm not going to be the one to back down first._ Finally you flirt. But for the wrong reason. Don't you see that if he's willing to flirt, he likes you? And no this is not about pretending because in case you haven't noticed no one's in the room, so he can drop the act but he's not. And neither are you. You thought it was funny to flirt but in truth you seriously enjoy it. You are beyond stupid._-

"You like being naked? Then do you also enjoy the 'special' activity that people do while being naked?" She asks with a sexy hiss like whisper. -Wonder what he'll do next? Damn I'm playing a stupid game of flirt for no reason at all. I have major issues. I should be flirting cause I like him not cause I think it's funny to mess with his head. That's probably just my physiological excuse to flirt with him. I love my best friend, he obliviously loves me back, and we're too stupid to do anything more than have a stupid game of flirt.-

-This idea of me pretending to be his mate has made me want to be his mate. Darn it, curse cruel irony. Well I've never been a coward, so why not? Hiei wouldn't have to tell his sister the truth, we wouldn't be pretending anymore, making the whole mate thing easier, and I could be with someone who somehow fully understands me. Why didn't I think of this before? _Because before you were too young and only thought of him as a friend. But at least you now have fully admitted how you feel_. Will you quit being right for a change! _No, being right is fun and making you look stupid fills me with joy._ But aren't we the same person?_???. . .???Yes and no._ What's that supposed to mean? _I don't know._ Some conscience you are. _Hey I'm smarter than you! _You don't know that, we're the same person, so how can 'You' be smarter than me? _Uh…_ Ha I won! I outsmarted my conscience. . .I'm pathetic. _That is something we can both agree on. _Shove it. -

"Maybe, it depends if I've got the right person with me."He answers with a smirk. -What in all of Renkai am I saying?! I must be drunk and don't remember getting drunk. _Quit denying what you feel you idiot. You like her and when you think on impulse alone, you are able to express what you truly feel and have always felt. Can you image yourself without_ _her?_ No but. . . _But what?_ _You know you love her, it's always been obvious. Talia's sister even said that you two flirt without realizing it. Being mates would make you so much closer. You'd be happier and it's something you both want. Go for it_.-

-Ok I'm cutting the crap right here. Hiei doesn't flirt unless he's serious. So if he's serious I'm game.- "Then am I the right person? 'Cause you are defiantly my right person." Talia says as she smiles.

". . .You serious?" He manages to stutter out as she nods. "I um. . .now?" He says a little shaken up. -Not quite the answer I was expecting. But I feel as if some heavy burden has been lifted off my chest. Now I really will have a mate, meaning I won't be lying to anyone anymore. Plus somehow, I've falling for her. I've known her for as far back as I can remember and never bothered to stop and realize that living wouldn't be possible without her. I need her, I love her, and I want nothing more than to make her mine forever. God my thoughts are so corny. I could write the stuff for a ningen card company.-

"Yes now." Responds Talia in a very commanding voice that would have made a lesser man crumble.

"Now as in right now?" He asks slightly nervous. Her only response to this is to join him on the floor, lean in dangerously close, and utter one word: "Yes." She sits on top of him, despite the fact that he's fully naked, and kisses him. She bites his lip, demanding for entry, and when he responds to this, she explores his entire mouth using her tongue, while he does the same. When they finish, both can barely breathe. She leans even closer and in one fluid movement, he bites her neck. It bleeds for a second but she quickly heals. She sits up and after grabbing his favorite body part, begins to massage said part. Using her powers she warms up her hands and rubs him in tiny circles. He moans loudly, thoroughly enjoying the experience.

Meanwhile with the foxes:

Kira wakes up and a tiny yawn escapes her lips. Kurama wakes up also and the two head down stairs to get some breakfast but decide it would be best to talk to Talia and Hiei first. Kira casually walks up to her sister's door and opens the door. The sight she was greeted by was not what she had expected to see so early in the morning. Her older (but shorter) sister was sitting on top of a naked Hiei and he was moaning in pleasure. As soon as she opened the door, Talia had turned around and saw them before they could run off. Her and Hiei's eyes had swollen to the size of tennis balls. Both didn't want to be caught in the act.

"Oh my god!" Says Kira. -She was. . .eeeeewwwww!!! And on the floor!!! Gross!-

"Kurama was at a loss for words and instead had his mouth hanging open. -She isn't doing to him what I think she is. . .She is!!! Nasty!!!-

Talia reaches up, grabs a blanket, and then screams "WHAT THE HELL DID I TELL YOU ABOUT NOT KNOCKING?!!! I'M GIVING YOU THREE SECONDS TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM OR I'LL BREAK YOUR LEGS SO YOU'LL BE INCAPABLE OF COMING TO DISTURB ME AGAIN!!!" -Not again. Can't they learn to knock? I'm never going to get very far with them here. I'll kill my sister for messing up my fun time. She's dead and her fox is too.-

The foxes being scared of her wrath once more, run off as fast as they can. As soon as they have put some distance between them and that crazy woman, Kira says "I'm not hungry anymore after seeing 'That' and it's not safe to stay her until my sister returns from being a psycho. Want to go to the mall or the movies or anywhere but here?"

"That's a great idea. Let's go, we can take my car."He answers as they exit the temple.

* * *

"This is my New Years gift to you all. Bit nasty I guess, I wouldn't know cause I'm always like this. I'm writing a new fic, check it out please. It will be posted by the time you read this if you look under my bio. Sometimes the story doesn't show up on the list for a while but if you look on the bio page of the author it does. Well bye bye and HAPPY DAMN NEW YEAR!!!" I shoot my gun cause I'm a crazy Texan. Then I pass out from being a drunk Texan.


	14. FINALLY! and Discoveries

Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "Vicky is back and on crack! In case you wondering what that meant . . .my name's Vicky and well I'm so crazy right now you might think I'm on crack. Well whatever."

Hiei: "Then you must be on crack 24/7."

Me: "Maybe, but since I am, I have an excuse to do all those mean things to you."

Hiei: "What are you up to?"

Me: "None of your business. And why would I tell you my dangerously evil plan?"

Hiei: "Ah-ha! You do have an evil plan! Tell me right now onna!"

Me: "No! But if you do the disclaimer . . ."

Hiei: Sigh. "This bitch owns absolutely nothing. So don't waste time trying to sue her."

Me: "Ok Hiei, my big plan is . . ." I whisper it to him.

Hiei: Eyes are like saucers and his mouth is hanging open. He stutters out "You can't?"

Me: "Oh but I can and I will. Mahahahhahahahahahahahaha!"

Hiei: "!"

Me: "See by not knowing anything you were happy. Ignorance is bliss."

Hiei: "Ptf. Explains why Kuwabaka is always so happy."

Kuwabaka: "Hey, I do know stuff! Shut-up shorty! And my name is NOT Kuwabaka!"

Hiei: "Really? Cause I thought it was with you being so stupid and all."

Me: "Hiei quit patronizing Kuwabaka."

Kuwabara: "For the last time my name is not KUWABAKA! IT'S KUWABARA!"

Me: "Sorry Kuwabara. Now for review time! Yay! But unfortuently my mom wants me out of the computer room so if you left a review saying you loved it and update, I just put thanks. Sorry but my mom wants me off the computer and she gets what she wants. However if you left a question or gave a review I could really comment on, I answered it."

* * *

HIEISfavFANgrl "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P. Plus I loved that movie!"

mistress of the keys"Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

PrincessKrystal01"Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

Jessica: Gglad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

slancaster113 "Cool a drunk Okie. Thnaks for checking out my other fic."

GoldenKitsuneHime13: "Yeah another perverted Texan! The two lovebords get their alone time soon."

Amber: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

Chow-Chow Binks aka Chic: "This time no one will mess up the scene."

bowserjr: 'They get sex. . . now! Yeah for them!"

Silvermane1: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

Goddess-Sango: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

Miss-Te: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A. glad you liek my optimism abotu writing this stuff. . . seeI go to a pre-med high school and we have to take health and you'd be suprised how dirty that ext book is. it gives me wonderful ideas. I'ts the only class I truly love."

piper:"Glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

Nasi Youkai: "Happy birthday! Even if it is super late. Thanks for checking out the other fic."

kayko15: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P. Little brothers are evil and nasty stuff rules!"

gothic-ember:"They will say they love you later."

dark-side-nb: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

Hiei's fire dragon girl: "Oh fire. . fire is nice. And glad you appreciate the dirty humor in this fic."

dragonkatana980:"Yeah my mom is not human oh I would love a shirly temple right now. YUM!"

Lil KaWaIi AzN PrInCeSs: "Yes the foxes deserve to burn."

Hiei-lonewolf: "Why would I not continue.?"

hiei'slover-hiei is mine-Arwen:"I would love to be her too and our deal starts as soon as one of us catches the little hottie."  
Hiei: "Ha-ha! You'll never catch me for I am the Sweet-Snow man!"  
Me: "Weirdo but he is cute."

rose: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

rokosho-13: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

Sumiko Minamino: "Oh so your perverted to. . .I welcome you to the PAPOI(Pa-Poy) or the Perverts and Proud of It society. Yeah!"

Vashlover9: "Hey did they delete your last fic? Damn them if they did. For an idea maybe write a fic abotu whichevr character is your fav or maybe all of them where they meet girls at a club. .. maybe a strip bar and then go from there. As long as it's perverted, it's all good."

Jessica Flores aka Jesse: "I wish I were Talia too. . Hiei is hot."

Lord of the dark Fluffiness: "Kurama and Kira wil get together soon. . .very soon. Hehe."

Ren: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

BusBuddie: "It would be awesome if somehow we could be paired with the characters. Thanks for reviewing."

vgboy705: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

sunshine14586: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

KoorimeFireFox: "You really love this. . . your obsessed. . .cool well here's the update."

Dolphingirl32173: "Yes I have been told by many that I'm nasty liek that. . .my friends call me Miss. Icky Vicky."

Yahaku-kan: "Don'e worry Hiei will have his fun. Hehe."

Moonlight-Poetry: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

Star: "Nice threat and I'd love to read you story as soon as I get the time to."

DragonTamer103088: "Um cookies. Thanks and I'll update soon."

kamilah: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

Phantasmic-Reality: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

icedragongurl15: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

crazedcandie: 'Thanks for telling me that and yes another insane,bdrunk Texan!"

vadkakid: 'Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

Beholder of fire: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

rose: "Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

Ryoki Hirousuke: 'Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P. I'll check out your fic when I have time. 'Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

SilverMidnight 'Thanks glad you enjoy it and I'll update A.S.A.P."

* * *

"Talking"

Thoughts-

/Telepathy/

(Comments)

_The little voice inside your head._

WARNING: As I've said before, I CAN write very nasty things and so there is a reason this story is rated R. If you don't like semi-descriptive sex scenes, I pity you. You don't like it, you don't read it. And if you are one of those losers who reports so-called abuse about certain stories, GO TO HELL!

This fic is sadly coming to an end but I'm doing a sequel with an interesting twist. See some people have used a basic concept I'm going to use but they always leave some people left out or over-villainize or honor certain characters. If you want to know more, I just might give you hints about what the sequeal is about if I get enough reviews. Oh and before I forget, I wrote another fic called: The Life of Me Where It All Goes Wrong and its under Harry Potter. See I have a thing for dark characters like Hiei, Draco, and Snape. I'm weird like that.

Anyway enjoy reading and sorry for the long wait but lately we've had testing, actually doing science fair, HOSA (it's a health competition my nerdy school does), and tons of projects, homework, and tests. So I've had no time for updating. Sorry but there was nothing I could do at the time."

* * *

"Damn those idiots! We were in the middle of things! Why do they insist on screwing up our screw around time! Oh well I think they left and hopefully they will NEVER again open our door without permission." Talia screams.

Unfortunately the dojo is filled with hero-type people who bluntly rush in after hearing anyone scream. So in come the collection of heroic morons. The sight that greets them isn't exactly welcoming. With eyes practically falling out of their heads, the other inhabits of Genkai's temple shut the door quickly after seeing Talia sitting atop a naked Hiei. They didn't see anything but even Kuwabaka could put two and two together to figure out what they were doing. Due to their strong fear of "Shorties crazy girlfriend" they ran off before she could yell at them or hurt them. But she saw them and screamed "I WILL KILL YOU MORONIC SNOOPS IF IT'S THE LAST THING I FUCKING DO!"

"But don't you want ME to be the last thing you Fucking DO?" Hiei asks sheepishly. -I know I shouldn't have said that but. . .whatever. Damn people. I was about to have fun and now she's pissed-off and will probably want to beat the hell outta everyone instead of staying here, alone with me. Hopefully what I said will get her to stay. Koenma would throw a temper-tantrum if all of his detectives were found after she's finished with them. She can be hell itself when angered. _But that's why you like her. She's like playing with fire. . . exciting, dangerous, uncontrollable, and fun to watch._-

"Ha-ha very funny you little perv. You know I was saying that I want to beat the crap outta them." she says with a smile.

"So no fucking?" he asks with a fake sniffle sniffle. -Why did I say that? _Cause you want to do her. You can do her all night long! _Great I have a dirty conscience.-

"I never said that." She grins mischievously and leans over to kiss him some more. -Dumbo, did he honestly think that after all of this I would just run out and kick his friend's asses? I don't hate them or anything but they really need to learn that people need their privacy. Maybe later I'll talk to them, get to know them better, and find a way for them to at least start knocking. Just because I scream doesn't mean I'm in trouble. Oh well, back to my fun time before someone else interrupts us AGAIN!-

For about the next couple of minutes they kiss until they run out of breath but all the while Hiei had decided that it just wasn't fair that Talia got to see him in his birthday suit and she was still fully dressed. So he did what any guy in his position would do. . .he evened the score. In two minutes he had successfully removed almost everything and she didn't seem the least bit upset. Not giving a damn that they were on the floor, they began to devour one another.

Hiei started kissing her neck and went to fondling her breasts. He massaged them and started sucking on them while she moaned in pleasure. Not wanting to let him do everything, she leaned closer and wrapped herself around him, while she reached for his erection. Soon she was teasing him by playfully squeezing and sucking on his arousal. He moaned softly, but when she quit, he managed to get rid of her remaining layer of clothes. She smirked in approval and he slowly entered her. For a second it hurt a little, but she relaxed and he began to rhythmically move back and forth.

Since they were both fire demons, they increased their body temperature to a point that would have literally melted the skin of a normal person. The heat made them more passionate, causing the experience to be all the more enjoyable. Hiei finally entered all the way and he had hit it. . .the sweet spot. She moaned loudly. This continued for what seemed like hours until both were too tired to move. "Hey do you think we should go see everyone?"

"Do we have to? They saw you on top of me and. . . I don't want to." He says. -I will never hear the end of it. The idiot will say something like "Ew shorty and a girl did IT!" The detective will congratulate me on scoring but that's none of his business. The girls will be all happy and the foxes . . . one will say "I knew you liked her" and the other won't believe he was wrong about what kind of relationship we have. Either that or they'll all be extremely disgusted . . . maybe I should go just to see the looks on their faces. Mahahahahahahaha! Cough cough.-

"We have to but first we need to take a shower." She says while grinning. -A shower for two coming right up. Wonder what we could do in there? Hehe. _Oh so you are a dirty girl. _Yeah but if I wasn't I wouldn't be me.-

"We as in we take it at the same time?" He asks and smiles. -I am so glad she is a dirty girl….how come I didn't notice that before? _Cause your stupid. _Go to hell. _If I do you come too. _Bite me. _I can't seeing as how I don't have a mouth. _Well if you don't have a mouth, then how are you talking?_ No comment_. WHY can't you take that attitude with everything? _Cause I love to annoy. _Fuck you. _No fuck Talia. _Good point now shut-up.-

"Of course. How else would I do it?" The two go to the shower and take an extra long rinse. When they finish, it's time for lunch so they head to the kitchen. When they came in everyone just stares at them. There was that long awkward silence before Boton coughed and said "Good morning sleepy heads. Would you like some stew? Yukina spent all morning on it and it tastes wonderful."

"That would be great Boton. Um, it smells delicious." Talia replies. -God I am so glad she ended that silence. It was starting to creep me out.-

"Hn." Hiei and Talia then serve themselves and begin to eat. All was going well until. . .

"Hey Talia what is that mark on your neck. It looks like a vampire bit you. Ew shorty's into all that kinky stuff!" the baka shouts.

"Kuwabara, male demons give their mates a bite mark on their neck to show that they belong to one another. It's our way of getting married. But about all that kinky stuff. . .well that's none of you business." The fire chick says with a smirk.

Oh my god, she has the mark. It's there. She's his and its permanent. There is no way this is for pretend. They are mates!- Thinks Boton as her eyes swell to the size of dinner plates and her mouth is hanging open in disbelief. Everyone else is doing the same thing and thinking along the same lines.

-My plan just went down the drain. Now I'll never get him to admit the truth. Why does he have to be so stubborn! Why can't he tell me the truth! Is he ashamed of me!- Yukina remorsefully thinks before she politely excuses herself.

/Hiei something is wrong with your sister. She seems so sad. I'll go check on her ok/ Talia says to Hiei telepathically.

/Good idea. I'm not very good at comforting people anyway./ He answers.

Talia gets up, tells everyone she needs to go do something, and goes to Yukina's room. but she stops at the door when she hears the sounds of muffled sobs. She decides to eavesdrop on the conversation by hiding behind the door.

"Calm down my sweet ice maiden. What's wrong? You have to tell me or I can't help." says Kuwabara in a comforting voice.

"It's Hiei. I know he's my brother and I said I wanted to be his mate in hopes that in the process tell me he can't because he's my brother. I thought it would be easy to get him and Talia to get caught in their lie when he showed up with her. But I was wrong, she is his mate, and he has no reason to tell me the truth. I wanted to hear it coming from him but now he'll never admit it. NEVER!" She cries in between sobs.

"Oh don't worry. I'm sure he tell you someday. Just please quit crying." He replies soothingly.

At this Talia leaves and goes to Hiei's room to think.

Meanwhile:

Kurama and Kira had ran out of the temple this morning after seeing 'That'. They hopped into Kurama's red mustang convertible and he floored it. The two foxes speed away as if hell was on their tails. They laughed, sang songs from the radio, and had a good time. Awhile later Kurama took them to a bookstore with an adjacent coffee shop. They ordered two lattés and two blueberry muffins. They fed each other and couldn't stop smiling.

Afterwards, Kira suggested they go to the movies. They randomly picked a movie since they were going to do anything but actually watch the movie. During said movie, they decided to sit in the very front since no one ever sits there. Kurama was chewing some gum when Kira leaned forward and they started a tongue war, completely oblivious to all the stares they were getting. He used his tongue to explore every little bit of her mouth and she did the same. When she pulled away, both were gasping for breath and she had his gum. She smirked and blew a bubble.

"I think we should do that again. I really want my gum back." he responds with a mischievous grin. -That felt. . .whoa. She's got skill. _Yeah now what else can she do with that tongue? _Quit being so perverted. _No_.-

The fox leans in and bits her lip while she moans. She parts her lips and they kiss until they can't take it one second longer. When they stop, the audience claps and one guy shouts "You go man! You should get an Emmy for a kiss like that!" Slightly embarrassed, they blush, thank the people, and quietly leave.

"I didn't know we were being watched. Now I understand why my sister gets so pissed off when we walk in on her and Hiei. It's embarrassing. Speaking of her, I'm sure she's cooled off by now, so it's safe to go back. Come on, I want to eat some more of Yukina's cooking." Kira says. -Whoa his kisses are like heaven I should so thank my sister for somehow getting me and this hunk to admit our feelings. She's a genius!-

So they get in his car and drive back while entertaining themselves by singing like a bunch of morons.

* * *

"So how was it? NOW REVIEW or no preview of the sequel. Oh and today (March 12) was my birthday! YEAH! I'm 16 and this summer, I get to go car shopping! AWESOME! Plus my friends and I are going to the Houston rodeo to see Maroon five and get sick on carnival rides!"


	15. Fixing the Mess: The End

Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "Hey everyone! How'd you like the last chapter? This one is sadly the last one but the sequel will be out soon so don't fret. It promises to have more perverted humor and tons of twists and turns."

Hiei: "Yeah more pain." He says sarcastically.

Me: "But it means more laughs for me. Don't you want me to laugh?"

Hiei: "No."

Me: "You suck."

Hiei: "Suck what?"

Me: ". . .Boobs!"

Hiei: "You're sick."

Me: "Yeah ain't it great?"

Hiei: "No."

Me: "Whatever."

* * *

slancaster113: "Thanks for actually reading the author's notes---you're about the only person who seems to know I'm writing a sequel."

Icedragongurl15: "Hopefully this chapter will answer all of your questions.

Ps. The rodeo was awesome."

SilverMidnight: "Sorry about the wait . . . I have been totally busy—I got my first job! The scenes would have been more graphic but just in case my mom ever found this I can't have it too nasty."

LeaMarie F. Rocket: "Liked your response."

SerenityMeowth: "Yeah doing it is awesome. Thanks for the b-day shout out."

dark-demonic-angel: "Yes the world is inhabited by tons of perv's. Glad you find this amusing."

Phantasmic Reality: "Ah another Marchie–it's great to be a March babe—our birth stone is kick ass."

Shadow-Seeker-13: "I'm always on crack or something else that makes me loopy . . . don't remember what though. Hehe."

Lord of the Dark Fluffiness: "Adored the compliment. I'll keep doing whatever the fuck it is I'm doing. Even I don't know how this turned out to be a good story. It confuses me, just like everything else does."

ChrisBenoitsBabay: "I hate when you can't log in properly. Yeah go shorty (Hiei) plus my nicknames shorty."

Kemiko3955: "Sure I'll update."

HIEISfavFANgrl: "Cause I'm evil and just cause you can't wait . . . I shall take forever to update! Mahahahahah! cough cough."

a person: "Yep everyone has someone. Yeah!"

star: "It's not the end but this chapter is the end and then the sequel."

Chow-Chow Binks aka Chic: "Cool glad you want me to continue."

Dark Dragon King: "Well I'm really sorry I made to you wait so long. But things have been happening and just no time to update."

Vashlover9: "Hey thanks for the happy birthday and sorry about your fic. Anyway e-mail later."

GoldenKitsuneHime13: "Glad your so enthusiastic about the sequel. And its awesome to be a perverted Texan—I hate how people assume if your from Texas you're a cowboy/girl."

Silverman: "Nice."

Ryoki Hirosuke: "Awesome you get to go car shopping too. I pray Kurama would kiss that good . . . and that anime hotties were real. Sigh. Well thanks for the review and I hope you like the sequel."

Hakai Akumu: "I laughed my ass of typing it. But sadly theses good ideas take time so updates are slow. Anyway BURN everything . . . Fire is FUN Mahahahahahhaha! Sorry it's that damn incense clouding my thoughts—I love the way they smell and the fire!"

loves-winged-dark-angel: "I will most definitively continue."

Jessica Flores aka Jesse: "Sadly it is almost over but there will be a sequel. And my friends say I'm sick too . . . I'm fine, just slightly deranged! I would love for Hiei to bite me neck . . . Hehe."

Bus Buddie: "Ok if your read the warning note last chapter . . . yes I'm writing a sequel. And who's your therapist . . . I need one too!"

Kyolover91: "I ADORE your review . . . and would love to be a writer but I'm going to become a doctor . . . but write nasty things on the side. Ha!"

Charmed One1only: "Ok I update soon! Obsessive much. Anyway thanks for the brilliant complement . . . no one I know seems to think so."

Robin Maxwell: "I would hurry but good writing takes time. Sure some people update soon and write a lot but it usually sucks ass. Quantity over quality is their motto but I'm just the opposite."

Moonlight-Poetry: "The other characters, especially Kurama will get more attention in the sequel but I am **HIEI'S **jaded Dragon for a reason. It's hard to concentrate on too many people but I'm trying."

bowserjr: "Steamy chappie . . . Yum. Too bad few writers make good ones. Lemons are awesome; they're sweet but bad at the same time. Yeah lemons."

hiei'slover-hiei is mine-Arwen: "Hiei in a net . . . new kinky fantasy but I like it. Anyway read your fic (both of them) and left a review."

Tricksterstheifgirl: "Yes there is a sequel but it's very different from the original but still full of strange, dirty humor."

* * *

"Talking"

/Telepathy/

-Thoughts-

(Comments)

_The little voice inside your head_

* * *

Yusuke, Shizuru, Botan, Genkai, and Hiei were lounging on the couch. Talia was in Hiei's room thinking about everything, Yukina was in her room being comforted by her idiot and Keiko, and Kira and Kurama were on their way back to the temple.

With people on the couch:

"Was I imaging things or did Yukina seem sad?" Asks Yusuke.

"It looked like she was about to cry. I hope she's alright." Boton adds.

"No, she isn't alright. The guy she loves is taken and he's also her long-lost brother. I'd be pretty fucked up if I fell for some guy, who turned out to be my bro, only to find he has someone else. I'm so glad Kazuma is butt ugly." replies Shizuru as all eyes look at Hiei.

". . .grrrr . . .WHAT!" he yells. -What do they want me to say? I can't tell her I'm my brother. It would break her heart.-

"Well you should talk to her." says Boton as if it was the most oblivious thing in the world.

"No." the little fire demon responds.

At the look he gave them, they all shut-up and he got up, claiming he was going to train.

"He really should talk to her. She deserves the truth." exclaimed Boton as soon as Hiei left.

"He can't. He won't. It's just too strange of a situation." Shizuru replies.

"Damn! It isn't fair to Yukina." Screams Yusuke.

"There is nothing we can do. It's none of our business." answers Genkai before getting up and going to her room. The others become silent after that. No one knew what to say. Hiei had a mate and while that was a good thing, now he didn't have to tell Yukina anything.

With Kurama and Kira:

"That was so much fun! Today was awesome. I did just get back from Makai and was in need of some relaxation. So thanks. . ." Kira tells Kurama before kissing him. They step out of his car and walk hand in hand to the temple. When they entered, everyone was unusually quiet.

"What happened? Did you see my sister and Hiei this morning and are now shocked to silence!" Kira says jokingly. -Oh what mood killers. Wonder what got their undies in a bunch. _Wouldn't you like Kurama to get your undies in a bunch? _Oh be quiet you dirty little voice.-

At that Yusuke looks up and utters three words "He marked her."

". . .Hiei, our Hiei, marked her!" asks Kurama. -Whoa they are mates but now . . . oh god. What about Yukina? She wanted Hiei as a mate but now he's taken and he's actually her brother. Now he has no reason to tell Yukina he's her brother! My plan went down the drain.-

"Holy Fucking Crap! He did! That's awesome but. . .oh no. . .Yukina" Kira whispers.

"Yeah, she left and seemed kinda of sad. And no telling how Kuwabara is taking all this. I mean he's proclaimed his love for the girl about a zillion times already." Says Yusuke.

"Damn, things never go right. But what are we supposed to do? Hiei can't be with Yukina, he loves my sister and he's also her brother. She must be crushed." Kira adds in sadly.

A sad eerie silence follows and the fun feels as if it's been sucked out of the room.

With Hiei:

Hiei has walked outside and is currently slashing some poor trees into shreds.

-Damn them. I can't tell her, she'd be ashamed to have someone like me for a brother. We're twins and as different as day and night. She's pure and innocent. I'm dark and tainted. She probably thinks her brother is a saint. She'd only be disappointed to learn I'm her brother. She's better off not knowing the truth. The cold truth crushes people like her. A warm lie is all she can handle. I guess ignorance really is bliss.- He thinks.

With Talia:

-I KNEW IT! She was testing our relationship but she did have good intentions. She really wanted Hiei to admit that he was her brother. On one hand she does deserve the truth but on the other she put us though hell for a short time while we came with such an elaborate scheme. Although that resulted in us becoming mates. . .UGH! I don't know what to think. Younger siblings are a pain in the ass. They mean well but go about it in all the wrong way.

I've got it. Hiei tells her the truth to appease her and then we show her some older brother love by doing what every bigger brother does when the younger one does shit. . .we strike back. I told him she was up to something, but he didn't want to believe me. It's a common known fact that older one is a tyrant and the younger one is a pain in the ass. But first we go through the emotional stuff and all the drama. Then we get even. God does she know how hard it was to fake everything. But now we are mates but just for the record, I can't let anyone lie to me and get away with it. That's my job. _You're crazy. _So?- Talia thinks.

At that moment she gets up but is stopped when the door opens and in walks Hiei. He looks tired and is really sweaty. Talia didn't know what to say. Hiei wasn't going to be happy but maybe once he realized what lengths Yukina was willing to go to get him to tell the truth, he might not be so upset. Her idea showed that she actually wanted Hiei as her brother so she had to have liked him and isn't ashamed. Without that fear, Hiei would have told Yukina the truth long ago.

"Hey Hiei um, Yukina she's upset because she knows. . ." Talia begins as she tells Hiei everything she heard.

"She knows and she did all of this in hopes I'd tell the truth? Who told her?" He says while getting slightly angry.

Talia sensing this replies "That doesn't matter. She's not ashamed of you; she wants to be your sister, so now you can tell her. She thinks you're ashamed of her--- you know what that's like. Don't do it to her, Tell her the truth. It will make her happy."

"Your right but if she knew, why not confront me? And how did she come up with such an elaborate plan? I bet that damn fox helped her." the fire demon says.

"No, she is more like you than you give her credit for. And even if Kurama did help it all worked out for the better. We're now mates and you get to tell your sister the truth. Come on, we better do this now." she says.

He sighs and then the two head to Yukina's room. They stop outside the door because they hear muffled sobs which makes Hiei feel guilty. Then knock and after hearing a soft "Come in," they slowly walk in.

"Hey Yukina. We have some news that we hope will cheer you up." Talia exclaims happily.

/What are you doing/ Hiei asks telepathically.

/It will be easier to just come out and tell her the truth. She and the others don't need to know that we faked the entire thing. It would only look bad on our part so there's no need to trouble her further. Just tell her that you're her brother without all the drama. Lord knows we've had enough of that./ explains Talia.

"Yukina I know why you're crying and I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner but I thought you'd be ashamed to be related to someone like me. Yukina I am your brother." Says Hiei. -Please don't let her be mad and please don't cry. I hate it when she cries.-

". . .Why did you think I'd be ashamed of you?" Yukina asks. -He TOLD ME! Oh I am so relieved. Now I really do have a brother! But how does he know I was upset?-

"Yukina I heard what you were telling Kuwabara earlier so we know about your plan to get Hiei to confess. But we're not mad. Actually we're relieved that you'd want him to be you brother." Talia says.

"Yukina I wasn't ashamed of you, I thought someone as pure as you would be upset to know her brother was a thief, a killer, and a fighter." he adds.

After that Yukina starts crying and gives Hiei a hug. "Oh I thought you'd never tell me the truth. I was so afraid you hated me. And I'm so happy for you and Talia. Oh my god I have a sister-in-law! Actually two sisters and then your mom and dad! Can I call you sister?" Yukina says in one breath.

"Uh sure, why don't we go to the living room and tell the others." Talia replies. -That went better than expected. Awesome. Finally something that's easy. _What do you mean finally something _'_easy?' You're easy._ Oh if you don't shut-up. And if I'm easy so are you dumbass. _That makes you a dumbass too. Hehehe_. Shut your pie hole.-

The three of them walk into the living room but everyone automatically assumes the worst because of Yukina's tear-stained eyes.

"What do you do to my beloved, shrimp?" Kuwabara asks angrily. -He better not have upset her or else. . .-

"Relax Kazuma. These are tears of joy. Hiei has told me that he is my brother. . ." Yukina begins as she tells everyone her plan, how it went, and about Hiei admitting the truth.

At the end of her story, everyone was glad that it all worked out. After much crying and a little too much drama for Hiei's liking, Kurama asked "Yukina how did you know Hiei was your brother?"

"Well before I met you guys, I always felt a strong aura protecting me. I believed that the aura belonged to my brother, who watching out for me. That aura matched Hiei's. Plus he growls when Kazuma gets near me. Just like he's doing right now." Yukina says with a smile.

Everyone then notices that Kuwabara has his arm on Yukina and that Hiei is glaring and growling. They all laugh at the poor fire apparition. He merely glares and says "Hn."

Later everyone is watching TV. But Talia grabs Hiei's hand and they sneak off. Kira and Kurama casually slip away as well. Pretty soon everyone has paired off and poor Boton and Shizuru are left on the couch.

"Damn this bites. I need a man." Says Shizuru lazily.

"I know what you mean. Well since they're all happy, why don't you and I go clubbing later? Who knows, we might find someone." Boton replies cheerily.

"Sure, later." Shizuru answers as they both sigh.

With Kira and Kurama:

"Are you sure we should of snuck off?" Kira asks.

"There was nothing on and no one will miss us. Besides your sister left too." He says.

"Cool, so how do two very bored kitsunes keep busy?" She asks mischievously.

"I know LOTS of ways we could keep 'busy'. I could show you if you'd like."

"Oh I'd like that very much."

"So will I." Kurama adds with a fox-like grin.

They sat on Kurama's bed and started making out. Kira parted her lips and Kurama's tongue entered. He doesn't leave until he has touched every single bit of space in her mouth.

They're breathless and panting slightly. She moved to lie on Kurama's chest, while he started to unbutton her shirt. . .

With Yusuke and Keiko:

The two of them had snuck off to Yusuke's room. The couple sat on his bed, both getting ready for one long make-out secession and possibly more. Licking his lips, he kisses his girlfriend and explores her mouth. She responds and opens her mouth, while exploring his mouth at the same time.

"Yusuke are you sure no one noticed us leaving? Its rude of us to just walk off on everyone."

Whispering sexily Yusuke replies, "Don't worry Keiko. No one will care."

He begins to kiss her neck, trailing kisses lower and lower. . .

With Kuwabara and Yukina:

"Hey baby! I'm glad your brilliant plan worked. You are soo smart, my ice princess."

"Thank you Kazuma. I'm glad to finally end this by finding my long lost twin. Although now Hiei is allowed to be my protective older brother who scares off every guy I speak with."

"Aw man. But do not fret; the shrimp is no match for my awesome power. I can squash the midget anytime, anywhere."

"Kazuma he's standing right behind you."

"Ahhh! Hiei you know I was just kidding? Right? Hehe." Kuwabara turns around but sees no one. "Huh?"

"Got you. Now let's kiss before while we have the chance." Yukina giggles at Kuwabara's antics.

Kuwabara's eyes light up and hearts appear in his eyes. "YES!"

Moving towards him she sits on his lap. He gets closer and his captures her mouth. . .

With the pyro maniacs:

"Hey Hiei, don't you think we should get back at everyone?"

"For walking in on us all those times? Yeah."

"Cool. How about we show them what its like to be interrupted when they're in the middle of private matters? Besides I'm sure I saw Yukina and her ape sneak off together."

"That idiot is with my sister! I'll slit his throat!"

"Calm down. She loves him but there's no real harm in spoiling their fun. Giving them a taste of their own medicine might prevent them from ever opening our door."

"F.I.N.E. But if he does anything, I'll kill him."

"Well at least now you have the right to get him. Hehe, you get to be the 'big' over-protective brother who threatens all your sisters' boyfriends."

"Hn."

They quietly slip out of their room and head for Kurama's. Talia presses her ear to the door and hears her sister giggling. "What are they doing?" She snickers. "Maybe we should investigate."

With lighting fast reflexes Hiei slams open the door. "Ha!" Talia screams.

Kurama is on top of Kira, nibbling on her breasts. But when the two glance up, the look on their face is priceless. "Smile your on candid camera." Talia sings.

"You. . .what are you two doing here! GET OUT!" Kira screams. -Evil stinking older midget. She ruined the moment.-

"Temper temper sister. Now you know how we felt. This a lesson. . .knock before entering." Talia chides.

"You hypocrite. How could you ruin this?"

"Well how could you do your little ice-cream experiment in front of everyone? This is payback and payback's a bitch."

"Hn. Let's go we've embarrassed them enough. Besides my eyes might bleed if we continue watching this pathetic display." And with that they walk out of the room.

"Damn munchkins." Kira mutters.

"I agree." Kurama adds before continuing. (You can guess what continuing means, ok?)

Our munchkins walk casually down the hall to the room Yusuke resides in. They hear load, excited moaning. Smirking, Hiei quietly opens the door, allowing both trouble-makers to a slip in unnoticed. They find one very happy couple, lying on top of Yusuke's bed. Both are shirtless. Talia sneaks up on the unsuspecting lovers and screams "BOO!"

"Uh. . .we can explain." Keiko says sheepishly, hiding under the covers. -Oh god. This is so embarrassing!-

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What the Fuck!"

"Just doing a little detective work. This is a warning: NEVER OPEN OUR DOOR AGAIN IF YOU DON'T WANT US TO DO THE SAME!" Hiei yells out menacingly

"Gulp. 'K short-stack. Roger that." -Damn I was hoping to get to third base.-

Smiling like a madwomen, Talia adds, "Yeah you better roger that."

With that the two leave, off for the final destination: Yukina's room. When they arrive, Hiei worriedly puts his ear to the door. He hears nothing, not one sound. "Hn, it's too quiet."

"Yeah, I don't like it. Wonder what they're doing in there."

"If that idiot has gone past second base, I'll castrate him." Hiei whispers in a deadly voice, glaring hatefully at the door.

"Oh come on. I doubt your 'innocent' sister has gone further than that. They're probably still at first." -He's cute when he's in protective older brother mode.-

"But just in case," Hiei mutters while slamming open the door.

The scene in front of them is sickening. . .well sickening to our revenge seekers. "Ah my eyes, they burn." The two wail in pain. Kuwabaka had Yukina in his lap and they were frenching with raw passion. But as they noticed they weren't alone, the ice maiden blushed ad red as her lovely eyes and Kuwabara jumped away.

"Eep. Hiya Shortie. We were. . uh. . ."

"Big brother, please don't hurt him."

"Oh I'm not gonna hurt him, I'm going to KILL him!"

"Hiei, be reasonable. They're both fully clothed, her hair isn't too tousled, and they were only kissing."

Due to the arguing, the others had appeared.

"Whoa. Cool it. Hiei now what seems to be the problem?" Yusuke asks.

"HE FRENCHED MY SISTER! I'M GOING TO HACK HIM INTO A BILLION TINY PIECES!"

"Hiei I think you should calm down." reasoned Kurama. -Whoa he's pissed.-

"Hiei come on, let's go. We've succeeded in ruining their moment. And she chooses to be with him. There's nothing you can do to stop them from liking each other." Talia says with a smile. /Besides we have some things to do./

/What things to do/

/Naughty things. Now GO/

"Hn. Whatever." Hiei walks off with his mate and they head to their rooms for some alone time.

All seems to be going well for the next couple of months as everyone gets closer. There have been no missions but then. . . .

THE END! (NOT! There's a sequel and sort of an explanation about it below.)

* * *

PREVIEW FOR SEQUEL:

"Ok yes I'm writing a SEQUEL to this---I'VE WROTE THAT THE LAST SEVERAL CHAPTERS AND NO ONE KNOWS. PISSED ME OFF MAJORILY THAT NO ONE READ THE NOTE I WROTE LAST CHAPTER; I'D UNDERSTAND IF IT WAS LONG BUT IT WAS ONLY HALF A PAGE! Sorry I just get mad when I give an explanation and no one pays attention.

The fic will be filled with tons of pervy goodness. Now I'm all for originality but one of the story's major concepts is borrowed---it's a crossover fic with Harry Potter but it's going to be a lot different than anyone ever written. I've always like crossovers but all the ones I've read tend to follow a general pattern and have been, for the most part, a complete let down. Usually they are always yaio's (not that I have anything against those but that's what they usually are), the gang befriends the Gryffindors, and for the most part behaves, trying to keep their cover. Now I find that really unbelievable---Yusuke and the guys behaving? Ha! But this site is for writing ANYTHING---so everything goes.

Anyway to sum it up, the gang with a few added others (I'm not telling) go to Hogwarts because Koenma has said there are too many deaths in the area around Hogwarts (like people who shouldn't be dying are and its messing up fate--a bit different at least from the usual Voldemort is getting demons on his side) and the school needs to be looked after. Genkai comes after accidentally running into Dumbledore 'claiming' she moved from Japan and is looking for a teaching position as Defense Against the Dark arts professor. Up until that point the story seems like sort like others you've read, huh? But then it changes.

First of all there are 8 major differences:

1. All of Yuyu gang has someone and we go into their relationship---I love all the characters so I have to talk about all of them (I promised someone that Shizuru would have someone in the sequel)

2. They are not all in Gryffindor and their job is to protect the whole school not just Potter.

3. Not all of them hate Draco and the Slytherins.

4. Talia helps them keep their cover with her lying.

5. There's plenty of humor, romance, fights, and make out scenes.

6. They play quidditch–wouldn't that be fun?

7. They cause trouble, big trouble.---singing dirty songs in class, blowing up stuff, talking back, bad pets, and rude language, just to name a few. They have a pretty bad rep with the teachers, especially Talia and Hiei.

8. They are not completely helpless when using a wand and neither are they way better than the witches and wizards at Hogwarts.

9. They don't claim to have 'special' magic and opt for not mentioning their powers at all.

And that's all I can think of at the moment, but I hope you'll continue reading. Oh and review or I might take awhile to post the sequel. Hehe. Bye for now."


	16. Not Chapter: Name of Sequel

Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "Oops but I forgot to mention the name of the sequel. Not to bright am I? Anyway it's called: "**School Plus Tenkai Equals Chaos**" and its under **Yuyu Hakusho**. The summary's not to good but I promise you'll love it when the plot thickens."

Hiei: "No one in their right minds would love anything your pea-brain came up with."

Me: "All the people I get along with generally tend to belong in the loony bin anyway so why should it matter? And furthermore _**Shrimp**_, I bet you have a pea-sized brain too among other things. . ." I giggle.

Hiei: "Hentai and that's not true!" He blushes.

Me: "Sure, whatever you say _**little **_man. Oh before I forget, a big shout out to all my loyal readers. This has been fun so thanks for reading the entire thing. Enjoy the sequel. Bye."


End file.
